Cardinals Prospect Tim Cooney Has Our Best Interests in Mind

Around the Christmas holiday, in particular, it’s not uncommon for members of the vulgar crowd to wax earnest about the importance of charity. “It’s better to give than receive,” they say. “It’s better to give than receive,” they say again, a lack of imagination being one of the defining characteristics of that regrettable demographic. Idle chatter, is all it amounts to, so far as this suddenly indignant author is concerned.

This morning, however, left-handed St. Louis prospect Tim Cooney — whose name, it should be mentioned, has not not been invoked by the author in these same electronic pages — Tim Cooney performed an actual, authentic act of charity. Noting that, as is his habit, that Peter Gammons had produced another in a series of probably accidental tweets, that same left-handed prospect, Tim Cooney, brought said accidental tweet to the attention of this site’s editoriat, with the idea (one presumes) that it might serve as the raw material for an amusing post and, therefore, for the greater enjoyment of the public.

What Cooney’s small act has done is more than that, however. It’s put smiles on the faces of children who weren’t previously smiling. It’s saved puppies from certain death, probably — or at least near-death. And it’s allowed the sun to shine a little brighter — but only metaphorically speaking, of course, because merely forwarding a Peter Gammons tweet doesn’t actually have any effect on the real weather.

Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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Nietzsche's Nine Netherworldly Nonsensicalisms
8 years ago

Tim Cooney shall never again stare into the abyss and wonder