Ben Revere’s Poor Keyboardsmanship

I have, perhaps, an unhealthy love for Ben Revere, who until today seemed like the very picture of perfection as a Major League Baseball player. A lovable speedster who was constantly hustling and who had an infectious smile, I was smitten immediately. Even the trade that sent him from my beloved Twins to the Phillies failed to dampen my enthusiasm for him.

And then he tweeted this yesterday:

“@iknowjado: I miss my bro @BenRevere9” miss you too no homo

— Ben Revere (@BenRevere9) September 5, 2013

It has since been deleted.

At first, I was aghast that such a beautiful creature could tweet something so callously homophobic. I was all set to type a scathing response, explaining how I felt betrayed by yet another ballplayer I allowed to let me down. I was going to criticize him for his bad joke and me for my investment in Ben Revere’s purity. I was set to pine for an earlier time when we were allowed to pretend that flu-like symptoms were flu-like symptoms, Mickey Mantle was a hero, and beaver hunts were solely the province of voyageurs.

Then I looked down at my keyboard, and saw how the M and J adjoined one another, and I understood Ben Revere’s mistake. Indeed, “No HoJo.” That’s a sentiment I think we can all get behind.

Huge thanks to Internetting Gentleman David Temple for photoshopping this for me while I’m on vacation.