Ballplayers Whose Names Are Also Danish Ejaculations

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Anyone whose family, or who he himself, purchased an Apple-brand computer anytime before, say, 1995 will likely have more than a passing knowledge of the genre commonly known as edutainment, a very specific sort of software program that, in striving to provide users with content that is both educational and entertaining, typically provides neither.

That fact having being established, allow the author to announce that, in every relevant way — both in that it is neither very educational nor very entertaining — the present post is a goddamn exemplar of the edutainment genre.

What follows is a collection of five baseball players (most past, one present) whose names most resemble popular Danish ejaculations — at least so far Wiktionary has led the author to believe.

Readers can use this post to both not learn Danish and also learn very little about baseball!

Player: Willie Horton (Profile)
Who He Was: Mostly Tigers outfielder, 1963-1980
Relevant Danish Ejaculation: Hørt! (Real Dictionary Entry)
Meaning: Hear, hear!

Player: Denny Lortscher (Profile)
Who He Was: Minor-league pitcher, 1963-1969
Relevant Danish Ejaculation: Lort! (Real Dictionary Entry)
Meaning: Crap! Shit!

Player: Laynce Nix (Profile)
Who He Is: Major-league outfielder since 2003
Relevant Danish Ejaculation: Nix! (Real Dictionary Entry)
Meaning: No! No way!

Player: Shet Pojda (Profile)
Who He Was: Indy league player in Providence, 1948
Relevant Danish Ejaculation: Pøj! (Real Dictionary Entry)
Meaning: Yuck!

Player: Joe Skalski (Profile)
Who He Was: Mostly minor-league pitcher, 1986-1990
Relevant Danish Ejaculation: Skål! (Real Dictionary Entry)
Meaning: Cheers!

Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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9 years ago

Hall of fame title.