This picture comes to us from Shorpy, which is a very fine web destination.

I beg you to click on the picture to enlarge and then spend some time staring at this young man’s bedroom wall. Several of the commenters at the Shorpy post have spent some time figuring out who is who in the selection of baseball cards behind him. There are so many things I love in this photo, from his dirty white pants to the canopy above his bed, the short broom on his desk, the mysterious note on the bed. I admire crisp, simple modern design, but staring at this room makes me want to wallpaper my studio in postcards, keepsakes, and — of course — baseball cards. This student was expressing himself through the art of careful, personal curation. He’s making a “what I like is what I’m like” statement with this room, something that is usually associated with the facebook generation, but is actually just a habit of privileged young people of all eras. Whether it’s picking out outfits, rearranging your bookshelves, making a mix tape, or gluing baseball cards to your wall, we have all, at some point in our lives, tried to find ways to viewed as the human embodiment of all the beautiful or interesting (or powerful or funny or obscure or…) things we have collected. By that standard, this kid might be the most beautiful person I have ever seen.

If you’re really, really into fat jokes and/or subtle invitations LOL, man do I have some shirts for you!

Is it wrong that I like and use twitter, and even follow baseball players there, and yet find these to be an atrocious sin against the heart of baseball / love / life? If someone could explain myself to me in this regard, I’d appreciate it, because I’m not really sure what I’m so offended by anymore. Brett Lawrie, everyone! Pantalones!

( H/T to Reddit )

Here’s something you may not know: these unused Topps master slides from 1978-1983 inspired many of our finest authors and works of literature. Proof? Proof:

Richie Zisk

“He allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.” -Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

George Hendrick

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.” -Sylvia Plath
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This idea was gifted to me by none other than Mr. Bradley Woodrum. There are a lot of ways it could have gone. This is the way it went. Disclaimer: pink packing peanuts are really very bad for the environment, guys. And as ever, click to embiggen — if that’s something you’re into.

P.S. So I’m not the first person to notice this, huh?

I fancy myself a baseball “artist” but I am a tiny speck on a giant, awesome tradition of depicting the game in all kinds of ways. Baseball art has evolved from cigarette cards to so much more, but the best baseball artists have retained a pure love-of-the-game and it shines through their work. These ladies and dudes intimidate and inspire me every day!

Texan-turned-Brooklynite Paul Windle does illustrations for all kinds of publications, including Grantland and The Classical, but my favorite project of his is obviously his Mid-70s Baseball Dudes. These guys are off the hook.

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WARNING: This post is earnest and unfunny. Proceed with caution.

Last night the Astros unveiled the first of their series of throwback uniforms celebrating the franchise’s 50th anniversary. After a minor kerfuffle over the use of a firearm in the logo, they look the field with guns blazin’. I don’t care much for weaponry myself (bad Texan, I know), but the sight of my favorite team in these beautiful retro uniforms was enough to put me on the edge of the kind of happy tears I normally reserve for sloths and compliments on my hair.

photo via @MLB

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Add “in bed” to conclude the following opinions about that one thing, for hours of fun [in bed]:

• as phenomenally tacky as you imagined.
• every bit as trippy as we expected.
• really happening.
• an oversized shooting gallery.
• still terriesome…awerrible…
• alive and terrible.
• a real thing, and it’s monstrous.
• predictably amazing.
• fully operational.
• as frightening as you might have expected
• huge. That is all.
• fully working now.
• taller than a pyramid of bulldozers.
• a little big. Amazing.
• priceless.
• the most super thing in baseball history and I love it. [Note: This is obviously actually about Notgraphs. In bed.]
• way worse than I thought it could be.
• even better than i could have imagined.
• currently being erected.

Thanks for visiting today’s sexual fortune cookie!

With my sincere apologies to the wonderful Ogden Nash.

Line Up For Today:

A is for Alonso
That’s “Yonder Alonso” to you
BEST NAME OF ALL TIME:
Truth, truest, or true?

B is for Braun,
Whose pee was mishandle’,
Pissing off M.L.B.,
The stupidest scandal.

C is for Cespedes,
A slugger from overshore,
We don’t know how he’ll hit,
But he does love Star Wars.

D is for Dickey,
A favorite of many,
Who value climbing mountains,
Over striking out any.
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This year-old but new-to-me promo for the Japanese professional baseball team the SoftBank Hawks is easily the best baseball related commercial I’ve ever seen (even including that Ken Griffey Jr. Nike ad that made me cry when he retired).

The Hawks website is full of delightful tips on how to enjoy baseball, such as this perfectly joyful sentence: “after the top of the 7th inning, it’s time to sing the team song and release thousands of yellow balloons together with other fans.” We should all be so lucky. Additionally, their stadium is home to a Sadaharu Oh museum, and their team currently features Brad Penny.

I’m sold! Given that the Astros have seemingly given up on even trying to promote themselves at all, I may or may not be considering myself primarily a SoftBank Hawks fan after I watch this video a few more times. My favorite part is the [SPOILER ALERT] hat-wearing dog at the end.

H/T to Buzzfeed.

To celebrate “opening day that isn’t really opening day or is it?” over in Japan, a commemorative hand-drawn portrait of the player I will not be drawing for Every Hall of Famer who I think deserves it the most — Sadaharu Oh!

As per always, dear readers, click to embiggen: