In addition to the very English and talented Craig Robinson, the editoriat of NotGraphs is pleased also to announce the debut here of John Paschal, who writes additionally for The Hardball Times under the pseudonym Azure Texan. Here, Paschal attempts to render into prose the thrill of speaking over the phone with the actual, real Carson Cistulli — an experience of which literally even zero presidents have had the pleasure.

So, due to several dark-alley bribes and trench-coat meetings in the underground parking garage of the United Nations, you suddenly have a chance to write for NotGraphs, which is exactly like writing for FanGraphs except, you know, not. The first order of business, though, is to field an introductory phone call from His Eminence Carson Cistulli, probably because you are a shadowy figure on the Internet and so he wants to make sure you’re not a potted plant or a set of twins named Ripper and Shank.

Scheduled time of call: Noon Eastern. This is problematic because you don’t live in the East, you live in the NotEast, but he assures you via email that it will work out because these things almost always work out, phone-wise.

Still you are nervous, or, put differently, NotNotNervous.

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