Oops!
Oh, Red Sox. Why’d you have to start the game so early yesterday?
Yep, Shields and Bard, both on my bench. 1 earned run. I lose my week by less than 80 points, and I’m putting a curse on the Red Sox. Another one.
Author Archive
Jacoby Ellsbury Injury Timeline
4/13: Ellsbury injures shoulder in 4th inning of Rays-Red Sox game. “In a lot of pain.” “Felt something move a little bit.” Leaves ballpark for further evaluation.
4/14: Diagnosed with “subluxed shoulder.” Expected to miss a minimum of six weeks. Surgery remains a possibility. “I haven’t heard the word surgery,” says manager Bobby Valentine. “Whatever the best possible care is, that’s what we will give him.” Ellsbury expected to be re-evaluated in a few days.
4/17: Ellsbury’s other shoulder injured en route to his re-evaluation. Expected recovery time for original injury remains six to eight weeks; other shoulder “felt something move a little bit, also seem to be foaming at the mouth.”
4/19: Ellsbury diagnosed with a second subluxed shoulder.
4/27: While recuperating, Ellsbury develops “Mountain Fever,” which is the opposite of “Valley Fever” in that instead of causing decreased strength, it causes increased strength. In attempting to use this increased strength to lift a car, Ellsbury drops the car on his foot. He is diagnosed with a subluxed foot, which isn’t even a real thing until Ellsbury becomes the first person to ever have it. Estimated recovery time: 10-12 weeks.
Ask NotGraphs (#12)
Dear NotGraphs,
Diehard Chicago White Sox fan here. I met this hottie at a college party last semester – we’ll call her Amanda. Amanda seemed like a nice enough girl at first. We hooked up, went on a few dates and before long, we officially became a couple. Everything seemed to be going well, that is, until I found out Amanda had a dirty little secret. She was a Cubs fan.
Not only was she a Cubs fan – she was the kind of Cubs fan who didn’t know anything about the team (other than they had a “hot” second baseman). I know my family and friends would never approve of our inter-franchise relationship. I’ve managed to hide her problem from the guys for now, but baseball season is about to start and I can’t keep dancing around the issue. What should I do?
Thanks,
Pale Hosed
MLB Blackout Rules
Chad Moriyama complains about nine teams being blacked out in Hawaii, which, last I checked, is not within reasonable driving distance to any major league ballpark. So I thought it would be helpful to put together a complete list of MLB’s blackout rules.
1. Teams have exclusive rights to broadcast video into designated territories. These territories were determined in 1806, before the invention of Major League Baseball, the invention of video, and the statehood of the most recent 33 states to join the union.
Drew Storen’s Havin’ Surgery (Probably)
Drew Storen is off to see Dr. James Andrews about his elbow. Never a good sign. But at least he won’t be hearing any gossip while he’s there. From the website of one of Dr. Andrews’s clinics, what strikes me a somewhat strange set of 9 elements that make up the doctor’s patient philosophy:
Small Sample Size.
It’s not too early to be concerned about Red Sox pitching.[1] It’s not too early to analyze these Cubs. [2] It’s not too early to be impressed by the resilient Rays. [3] When it’s the Yankees, is it ever too early to panic? [4] Is it possible for a ballclub to establish an identity only two games into a 162-game season? [5] Two games amount to the smallest of samples, but there may be reasons why Tigers center fielder Austin Jackson is off to a fast start and Red Sox third baseman Kevin Youkilis is not. [6] Two games. Two tepid performances for seven innings that leave everyone scratching their heads and wondering how in the world this team is ever going to score enough runs to win. And then two stirring rallies that completely alter everyone’s opinions and make them believe anything may be possible with this team. [7] [W]hen so many blown saves occur in a short time, it’s impossible to ignore. [8] The general consensus among Marlins players was that Wednesday night’s four-hit performance in the opener at Marlins Park was just one game, and not the precursor to a trend for the Marlins, who had a relatively light-hitting spring. [9] Orioles Baseball: Is it too early to buy World Series tickets? [10]
Excessive Vomiting
Josh Outman was placed on the Rockies’ DL with a strained oblique, due to excessive vomiting.
Apparently he got food poisoning at a Denny’s.
Boy, those meal allowances must be pretty low.
A commenter on Baseball Think Factory has the best quip:
Turns out Outman gave up a grand slam.
Apologies for my lackluster Photoshop skills. That’s supposed to be vomit coming from his mouth, not an alien ghost trying to be his friend.
Opening Day Special: A Look Back in Headlines
2011: “New season brings new hope for Manny Ramirez.”
1999: “Will this be the last season of baseball before the Earth is destroyed by Y2K?”
1969: “Welcome to the Montreal Expos, a team that will be in Montreal forever.”
1871: “Base Ball? This new sport will never last.”
Ask NotGraphs Passover Special
Dear NotGraphs,
I struggle every year with the competing demands of my religions (Judaism and baseball) when I try to go to ballgames during Passover– during which I’m divinely prohibited from eating hot dog buns, drinking beer, and buying either peanuts OR Cracker Jack. Obviously this is a struggle that’s been faced by generations of Jewish baseball fans before me, but I feel like no one’s come up with a good answer yet. This year, I have a choice between going to my home team’s home opener in a state of privation, or waiting 2 days and going to the third home game once Passover ends. Which is the true fan to do? And if I do go to a game during Passover, what on earth am I supposed to eat?
Note: any answer that denies the premise of the question because ballpark food and beer are overpriced will be unhelpful. The first game of the year is a special occasion, and besides, this is a question of Aesthetics.
How Many Astros Can You Name?
No cheating here.
I’ll start you off with the easy ones.
Starting Pitchers:
Wandy Rodriguez
Bud Norris
J.A. Happ
Bullpen:
Brett Myers
Starting Lineup:
Carlos Lee (1B)
That leaves, uh, 20 more players. Let’s do it this way. Remember, no cheating. Leave one name in the comments, a name no one above you has mentioned. And we’ll see how long it takes to get to all 25. And who’s the last one named. (My guess as to the last one named is the guy in the photo.)