Dear NotGraphs,
I manage a fantasy baseball team for my father. “Our” team is in 2nd place. He likes to brag to his friends that he’s the greatest Fantasy Team Owner ever, because he hired a great GM to do all the work for him. He hasn’t paid me yet, so I assume I still have time to negotiate an appropriate salary. What’s the going rate for a fantasy GM of a 2nd place team in a free fantasy baseball league?
Sincerely,
Sonofthegreatestfantasyteamownerever
Courtesy of the analysts over at MLB Network, who previewed the draft this past weekend with just about the most generic comments I can imagine. This is a cut and paste, with only the names replaced. Really, I didn’t change anything.
“This guy is one of those unique athletes that you rarely come across. He has the chance to be a once-in-a-generation player. That team needs to be thinking long term and not worry about drafting a player who is going to make an immediate impact. This guy has the chance to be a star when he reaches the majors, and he’ll be another nice piece in that team’s youth movement.”
“There are very few players that come up and make an immediate impact at the major league level. This is a sport where players go through learning stages and develop in the minor leagues. With that said, if you’re looking for that player who has the chance to make the biggest impact, I’d take this guy. He’s a middle-of-the-diamond player with a big-time arm and speed. I think his offense has to catch up to his defense, but he has high upside.”
“He’s totally projectable. He won’t be quick to the big leagues, but he’s special. He’s a grinder and usually you don’t hear that word associated with the superstar talent. Anybody who is a legend wherever they played high school sports, I always find special.”
“He’s got the right instincts to be a professional major league hitter. You’re never sure how catchers will grow offensively and its possible this guy has to move out from behind the plate. He’s hit wherever he’s played.”
“He’s a lefthander who has a good feel for the game. I always like players that get the most of out their talent because they’re smart ballplayers. I’ve seen this guy pitch a few times and I’ve seen him outsmart hitters, which is nice to see at the college level.”
“You just got hired, you know you don’t have to win right now. Don’t go with something for right now when you could miss out on a superstar. This is that team’s chance to get a future superstar.”
Amazing analysis.
This is the eighth in a series of short excerpts from MLB Network’s entirely imaginary new fall sitcoms. More details here.
Today’s show: WILL (CLARK) AND (MARK) GRACE
MetsBlog.com has a quote from Tom Seaver about Johan Santana’s no-hitter:
I’ve never met Johan personally, but, what I’ve heard about him is that he has a big heart and is a huge competitor. I didn’t watch the game last night. I found out when I picked up the morning paper.
Two things came to mind after reading this:
(1) If Tom Seaver is right, Johan Santana should see a cardiologist, because I think having a big heart is probably not a good thing, medically speaking, and he probably needs to take some medication or have some sort of surgical procedure to correct it.
(2) Really, Tom? You didn’t find out about the no-hitter until the next morning?
This post contains no analysis.
I just traded Lincecum off my fantasy team.
It’s hard to know if I won the trade or lost it, because my fantasy league has keeper rules that are too complicated for me to understand. We’re allowed 4 one-year and 2 two-year contracts per year, at a 10% premium per year to auction price (so a $30 player is $33 in year n+1 and $36 in year n+2). For a while, we’ve been allowed to trade contracts, assigned or unassigned, and also up to $25 of next year’s auction money (out of $305). Starting this year– in an attempt to curb some of the extreme dumping that has taken place in recent years (close to the trade deadline, the teams out of contention would unload their superstars to the highest bidder, and the $25 might end up buying a bunch of real difference-makers– making it very difficult for even an excellent team to win without making major sacrifices to the following year’s chances)– there’s now a salary cap of sorts, where a team can’t deviate by more than $75 from auction day values (so you can only dump net $75 worth of superstars, basically), the auction money trade limit has been lowered to $15, players can’t be sold solely for cash anymore (players must be exchanged on both sides), and unassigned contracts can’t be traded on their own.
(If you’re following this, maybe you want to take over my team?)
Jonathan Lucroy was placed on the DL this weekend after a suitcase fell on his hand.
Lucroy told Adam McCalvy of MLB.com that he was “reaching under his hotel bed Sunday night for a lost sock when his wife shifted a suitcase, which fell on Lucroy’s hand.”
According to Tom Haudricourt of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, X-rays revealed Lucroy had suffered a broken hand and will miss four to six weeks.
His injury, of course, brings to mind a number of suitcase injuries of the past:
I threw this into a draft post three weeks ago when it happened, and never posted it. As Tejada prepares to return from the DL, I thought it might still be appropriate to share. I could try and find a way to relate this to Memorial Day, or I could just post it. So here it is. Ouch.
Courtesy of Michael Baron’s Twitter feed.
.
Or perhaps you’d prefer the GIF, courtesy of soccerkevin11.
Ouch.
Dear NotGraphs,
I anxiously await a memoir from my favorite pitcher of relatively recent retirement: Greg Maddux. What are the chances he’ll write such a thing? Would a Kickstarter project boost the odds significantly?
Thanks,
Jay
This is the seventh in a series of short excerpts from MLB Network’s entirely imaginary new fall sitcoms. More details here.
Today’s show: THE BIG HURT THEORY