Until I found this Tweet:
@colelopez77 @joetribe_2012 good stuff guys. IMO I’d love demon young and Shaun marcum. Realistic, affordable. Makes us contender. Thoughts?
— Cory O’Connor (@CoryO24) December 27, 2012
Demon Young
Sometimes it’s hard to come up with a post.
And then I look at some of the actual articles on the main site.
Michael Bourn, Chopped Liver?
Oh, this:
Yes, that seems like just the right facial expression.
The four teams?
1. San Francisco Giant Imaginations
2. Arizona DiamondbackintripleAs
3. Philadelphia Philling Their Spring Training Invite Lists
4. Balti-More Outs Than Any Other Team
The Wall Street Journal has a not-so-ridiculous article about how the Mets lineup, at a fraction of the cost, might not be any less productive than the Dodgers’ far more famous eight. But if you’re going to write flights of optimistic fancy, why stop there? The Mets could be better than the Dodgers, sure. It’s reasonable. I’m going to instead try to make the argument for why a team of former and current Presidential pets could be better than the Angels.
1. Mike Trout is a mirage. So, clearly, anyone would be a great improvement over him. Even William Henry Harrison’s cow, Sukey.
2. Erick Aybar does not walk much. Dogs, like Harry Truman’s cocker spaniel, Feller (named after Bob?), need to walk every day. Point, Feller.
3. Albert Pujols is on the downside of his career. Bo, President Obama’s Portuguese Water Dog, hasn’t even started his second term yet.
4. Josh Hamilton is often injured. Aside from a hospitalization due to intestinal issues, FDR’s Scottish Terrier, Fala, lived for twelve healthy years.
5. Mark Trumbo has trouble getting on base. Bases are made of canvas covering a soft foam or rubber material. John Quincy Adams had pet silkworms. Silk is stronger than canvas. Pets win.
6. Howie Kendrick has consistently failed to improve. Theodore Roosevelt had a pet bear. That is more interesting.
7. Alberto Callaspo likely has less power than John Adams’s horse, Cleopatra. Horses are very powerful animals.
8. Chris Iannetta has trouble making contact. President Reagan’s dog, Rex, threw the switch that lit the National Christmas Tree. He did not miss when he reached for it.
9. Peter Bourjos is fast, but almost certainly not as fast as Smoky, Calvin Coolidge’s pet bobcat.
Merry Christmas.
MLB.com shares some ballplayers’ favorite holiday music. These are selections *not* from the article:
All I Want For Christmas Is A Two Year Deal — Ichiro
Angels We Have Heard on High — Josh Hamilton
Blue Christmas — Hanley Ramirez
Go Tell It On The Mountain — R.A. Dickey
I go to Twitter looking for Nick Swisher news… and it appears that the word Swisher is slang for something else. I do not know quite what. I feel like I don’t even know English anymore after reading these tweets.
Hell of loud in my swisher.
— February 2nd.(@Black_Dougiee) December 19, 2012
Twisting up this grand daddy purp into a swisher for you.. About to send some clouds your way @itsdeltron Rest easy fam!
— Michael Smann (@michaelsmann) December 19, 2012
I wanna buy a swisher for tomorrow -.-
— Gho$t. (@FittedCapDee_) December 19, 2012
I got purple in my swisher, purple in my car, purple in my wine clap, purple label up, grapes what’s upppp
— Destiny Hughes (@desstiknee) December 19, 2012
You beggen to hit my swisher, nd Yo girl liking all my pictures
— 2Liter AwwChuu (@_AwwChuuBlessMe) December 19, 2012
I have swisher aftertaste in my mouth. Eww.
— Alma (@ThatPutaAlmita) December 19, 2012
…traded in the Blue Jays-Mets deal for R.A. Dickey, was less than a year old when R.A. Dickey was drafted by the Detroit Tigers in the 10th round of the 1993 draft.
It got me wondering if there have been any players traded for anyone who wasn’t born yet when they started their careers. I quickly checked some likely suspects…
Rickey Henderson (drafted June 1976) traded in 1997 from the Padres to the Angels for Stevenson Agosto (born September 1976). Rickey Henderson is the answer to everything.
Anyone know any others?
Reader Greg W. alerts us to a Twitter trend from the Great North. As the Blue Jays grow closer and closer to acquiring R.A. Dickey, an interesting turn of events on the stream:
Check out full coverage here. Thanks, Greg.
(Coming later this week, the Syndergaardification of Faacebook.)
Dear NotGraphs,
What is your favorite Charlie Blackmon highlight from 2012?
Regards,
Larson Systulli
“I know what will make for a marginally-interesting post! I’ll check the Twitter feeds of Jewish baseball players and compile all of their Hanukkah-related tweets into one mega-post.”
Here are the results of my exhaustive search. Danny Valencia (who is indeed Jewish) re-tweeted the Orioles’ Happy Hanukkah tweet. This completes the results of my search. I thought it would end up more interesting than this, Sam Fuld. I hoped for so much more, Craig Breslow. Are you not on Twitter, Ian Kinsler? Oh well, not every idea leads to great success. Happy 5th night of Hanukkah.
Happy Hanukkah from the Baltimore Orioles! twitter.com/Orioles/status…
— Baltimore Orioles (@Orioles) December 8, 2012