The below tweet — in no way altered from its original posting — shows that very successful managers are not adverse to having a totally bodacious time.

This, as it happens, is apropos of everything.

DETROIT — Tigers general manager Dave Dombrowski accidentally hit save Monday, which inadvertently made his trade of pitcher Doug Fister irreversible.

“Nooooooooooooo! Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit!” Dombrowski shouted into his computer monitor. “God damn it! Now what do I do?”

It was reported that Dombrowki’s trade of Fister was a test to see what kind of players he could get back in a hypothetical transaction, with the full intent of closing without saving, so as to retain his starter as he continued to test the market.

“It was time for dinner, so I closed the window,” the GM said with a visibly red face. “That stupid window popped up asking me if I wanted to save before I closed, and without thinking, I clicked on ‘YES’ like a fuckin’ dummy. The same thing happened when I signed Torii Hunter. Luckily, that actually worked out. I hate these damn things sometimes,” he said, making a gesture toward a PC sitting on his desk.

Multiple inside sources have said that Dombrowski has since clicked that little checkbox requesting that he not be notified on closing the window from this point forward.

“We told him about that checkbox, but he never used it. We forced him to now,” one head-office source said. “I’m surprised it hasn’t happened more, to be honest. He would have traded Miggy that one time if the power hadn’t gone out.”

The NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team was able to confirm that Dombrowski did try turning it off and on again.

If the Dayn Perry Hello seems aggressive, you have not yet traveled to the shallowest depths of Mississippi.

The Dayn Perry Hello is suitable for foes, lovers, former foes, future lovers, dignitaries, holy men, street merchants, plumbers, members of the Illuminati, and former NFL coaches — as well as any manner of post-coital handshake and/or corporate takeover.

The Dayn Perry Hello should not be confused with the Dayn Perry Goodbye, which is the last thing you hear before you die — destined to be an earwig of your soul for all eternity.

Side affects of the Dayn Perry Hello include immaculate conception, Grapenuts™ nuts, heart-prostate role-reversal, puffy nipples, sudden-onset luminescence, drowsiness, and sugar shits. It is highly recommended that users operate heavy machinery after experiencing the Dayn Perry Hello.

Scientists are in the final stages of testing the Dayn Perry Hello as an alternative fuel source. Results, so far, have been positive. The Dayn Perry Hello can be used as a garnish for a nice steak dinner.

Many of you may be seeing loved ones this holiday. May I recommend the Dayn Perry Hello when you first encounter them? For the Dayn Perry Hello answers all the traditional catching-up-small-talk questions in one fail swoop, leaving you and your loved ones to enjoy a nice meal in utter, awkward silence.

Former Major Leaguer Fernando Tatis doesn’t just use Twitter to voice his general confusion regarding Hall of Fame voting, he also employs it to broadcast unseemly wisecracks.

You may have forgotten about Matt Harvey. I did for a spell. Perhaps the title of this post struck a dower dour chord in your heart. Writing it certainly did.

This off-season, there will be a fair amount of wheelings and/or dealings. Some players will sign big contracts, some will sign small ones. Others will get traded. And we will expel a lot of time and energy contemplating on what these happenings mean for those players and their respective teams.

But let us save a little time, and perhaps a little more energy contemplating on Matt Harvey. For with every day that passes, he grows stronger. He grows stronger and more eager and one step closer to doing shit like this again:

Heal fast, Matt Harvey. We will continue to remember you.

It was in 1946. July, I think. The Dodgers were playing the Cardinals. The game got out of hand by the fifth inning or so. The Dodgers were losing big. As I usually did during those times, I began telling stories to break up the monotony of the game. Well, for some reason — and to this day I still can’t for the life of me remember why — I began talking about Brooklyn’s pitcher Kirby Higbe. And I mentioned that though he was getting up there in age, he still was firing a pea of a fastball. Well, this fan that was sitting right in front of the press box took umbrage to that statement, and stood up to tell me so. He started cursing at me telling me I had no idea what I was talking about. Read the rest of this entry »

A story that broke today was, like so many stories during the early off-season, about a young songstress from New Zealand and George Brett. As it happens, the title of the very popular Lorde song Royals was inspired by a picture of none other than the Hall-of-Famer for Kansas City. This is, indeed, crack reporting. What isn’t crack reporting is creating a list of songs that were certainly NOT inspired by George Brett. That is what I have done. Read the rest of this entry »

Mike Pelfrey walks into a bar.
The bartender says:
“Why the long face?”

This has been Inserting Mike Pelfrey’s Name into Old Jokes.

(h/t to CJ Fogler)

We love Vin Scully for many things — one of which is his general grandpaness. But did you know Vin Scully used to be a young person? THE DEVIL I SAY! It’s true, at least according the below clip of some sort of TV show in which a young Scully acts. Is it acting if a baseball announcer plays a baseball announcer? If it is, Scully has acted quite a bit, according to his IMDB page — the go-to source for all your Vin Scully acting credit needs. The clip is from a show called Alcoa Premiere, which played scripted TV dramas that dealt with some heavy stuff. Famous movie composer John Williams also scored the show, for what it’s worth. Enjoy seeing a dark-haired Scully from a simpler time when we didn’t have to deal with all this technology and inter-racial marriages.

(h/t to the Scully-fan Twitter account @vinscullytweet)