Click to Gordon your Beckham.

Red Sox fans are effing everywhere.

I’ll use the word diaspora in conversation sometimes not, as you might expect, to convince other people of my intelligence, but rather merely to give my own self the (perhaps false) impression that my three years in grad school — where the word is ubiquitous — were not entirely a waste.

Beyond that sad, sad autobiographical aside, the concept of fan diaspora — that is, the phenomenon of a fan from one place living in another, totally different place — is a legitimately interesting one. The topic is treated on a scholarly level by Jon Kraszewski in an article from 2008 on Pittsburgh Steeler fans in Fort Worth, Texas, and invoked again just today by Kurt Mensching of SB Nation’s Detroit Tigers blog, Bless You Boys.

Mensching (and reader Todd Jones Mustache Ride) want to know where all the out-of-state Tigers bars are located. Because NotGraphs is a general-purpose blog, allow me to ask a more general version of Mensching’s question — namely, “At what bars do any out-of-state fans watch their team?”

From experience, I know that the Riviera Cafe, located in the West Village, Manhattan, is a Red Sox bar. So is the New Old Lompoc on the West side of Portland, OR.

Where else do people watch games, though? Besides their own homes, I mean. This is need-to-know information.

Ryan Braun will be buried in an Ed Hardy t-shirt, reports suggest.

There’s a conversation to be had regarding the role of the beat reporter in the Electronic Age. There’s also a conversation to be had as to whether Electronic Age really ought to be capitalized like that.

Before we have either of those conversations, though, let’s how about praise MLB.com’s Brewer beat reporter Jordan Schelling for getting to the Heart of the Matter this afternoon and dispersing the above image to The People.

The photo, one will note immediately, captures the scene of Ryan Braun’s grisly death yesternight — and appears to be the handiwork of Brewer right-handers Yovani Gallardo and Shaun Marcum, plus bullpen catcher Marcus Hanel.

I believe the reader will join me in being entirely not surprised that a bullpen catcher was involved in this endeavor.

Because I’m in a public area and forgot my headphones, I have no idea what sort of audio commentary accompanies the videos below. But because they’re all weird and all happened in the span of a single game — specifically, Wednesday night’s game between the Cardinals and Brewers of America’s Middle West — I’ve made an executive decision and embedded the hell out of them anyway.

Furthermore, strictly for the purposes of esses and gees, I’ve attempted to intuit what the likely audio commentary is for each of the videos below. I’m confident that my guesses are equal parts accurate and libelous.

Commentary: The ghost of Reggie Miller, who everyone knows died in 2003, is haunting Ryan Braun/got pretty decent seats for a ghost.

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In the great tradition of that one weird girl from your high-school newspaper, NotGraphs once again presents a Stupid Photo Essay. Never hard to read, because it barely has words: that’s the Stupid Photo Essay way.

In this edition of Stupid Photo Essay, we present Mike Trout’s three-run jimmy-jack against Anthony Vasquez (video) from Tuesday night.

Let’s see what our photo essay reveals!

1. Mike Trout jimmy-jacks Vasquez’s 63 mph curveball.

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In the comments section of a post from yesterday — one that drew a connection, via GIF, between Aramis Ramirez and the Lonely Island’s “Cool Guys Don’t Look at Explosions” — readers Resolution and DD noted that said GIF could be improved upon were it to include an actual, real-live explosion.

Reader Ross, who has some expertise in matters fiery, responded to this call with what I believe is known as “celerity.”

If Ross’s gesture doesn’t warm the cockles of every last readerly heart, then I don’t know from hot cockles.

The least you can do — if you’re wondering — is follow Ross’s Twitter account.

While I have only the most tenuous grasp over cricket and its rules/strategies, I’ve been compelled of late to acquaint myself with the game more closely owing to how P.G. Wodehouse’s excellent Psmith books require some knowledge of it.

The game, I will concede, is still mostly mysterious. Still, I think we can all agree, bespectacled readership: any sport that is routinely played in a sweater vest and calls for a tea break — well, there’s something in that.

Furthermore, some cursory internetting has revealed the Daniel Bard of cricket bowlers — namely, former Australia international Shane Warne. Despite his regrettable “face” and “whole being,” Warne’s deliveries are irrefutably pleasing.

I present here three readily available YouTube videos of Shane Warne’s consummate leg-spin bowling. I don’t present here what you might call “context” of any sort — because, again, I don’t know what’s going on.

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One thing I’ve noticed people do on the internet sometimes, is they write a post and title it the title of something else that’s on the internet — something that’s current and/or popular. This way, the writer makes it clear to everyone how he or she knows about this current and/or popular event.

Like if a player left his team because the team didn’t win a World Series, you could maybe title a post about him “[Team Name] Should’ve Put a Ring on It” — which, on the one hand, refers to a World Series ring but, on the other, also refers to this song by Beyonce I saw one time. I bet a lot of people would like that and then read the article.

Anyway, I mention it because yesterday I saw how Aramis Ramirez walked away as his manager Mike Quade was being ejected from the Cubs-Brewers game. It reminded me of this video I saw (below), which, given the 23 million views, I’m guessing is pretty popular. I got the idea: “I should title the title of my post something similar to that video.”

The video I’m talking about is below, in case you haven’t seen it. I’m pretty sure that’s not the real Neil Diamond, but whatevs.

PS: if you guys are into this post, you should totally like it on FaceBook!!!

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Other things that are likely fun with Joe Maddon:

• Turkish Bath
• Cricket Analysis
• Double Dare

Unlike Dayn Perry, I’ve never impregnated even one of the Ladies of America. When I do, however, I hope my issue grows up to look and act and be exactly like this kid, spotted at Thursday night’s Red Sox-Rangers game playing Nintendo DS or whatever with cartoonishly large headphones.