Because, at NotGraphs, we know what the public wants, we recently published in these pages a photo of former Giant and Pirate and Philly John Bowker holding an eel.

Because we continue to know what the public wants — i.e. images of baseball players interacting with marine life — we have embedded below these words a photo tweeted by Twins reliever Glen Perkins of Twins reliever Glen Perkins holding a shark.

Please believe me when I announce that, if this brings even one second of joy to just one reader, that my life — itself shrouded in meaninglessness — will be slightly less shrouded in meaninglessness.

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Gerald Laird not included.

I was surprised to find, this afternoon, that the $119.99 I’d been saving for really expensive drinks tonight at a really exclusive club had been removed from my PayPal account, courtesy MLB Advanced Media. This maneuver is one that (a) I find slightly irksome and (b) is probably, at some level, technically my fault, owing to how there’s undoubtedly a box I’ve left checked somewhere in my account that gives MLBAM the right not only to withdraw funds from my PayPal account, but also to perform all manner of experimental medical procedures on my person.

Some cursory research on the product having been conducted, here are some other statements about this year’s iteration of MLB.TV that are probably not not true:

• MLB.TV Premium is listed at $124.99 per annum (with the basic MLB.TV package costing $109.99).

• This year, a subscription to MLB.TV Premium includes the At Bat app for iPhone. (Said app cost $14.99 last year.) This ensures that you can watch baseball even as your — or somebody else’s, if you’re into that — wife lay sleeping beside you.

• The spring training schedule for MLB.TV — which starts March 3rd and is available here — seems considerably more robust this season. In fact, I don’t know that there were any spring training games available via MLB.TV last year.

• A subscription to MLB.TV is required to view games on connected devices (i.e. PS3, Xbox 360, Roku, etc.).

• There actually is some (literally) fine print regarding the autorenewal process, to this effect: “Your yearly subscription to MLB.TV or MLB.TV Premium will automatically renew annually on or about March 1 each year at the prior year’s regular full yearly price.”

The Society for American Baseball Research has announced today that, owing to the diligence of one Mr. Jonathan Frankel, anyone with a cursory knowledge of the internet can access all manner of scanned game accounts from the earliest days of base-and-ball.

Frankel has uploaded to Google Docs scans of newspapers from 1897 to 1912 from the following cities: Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Detroit, Louisville, New York, Philadelphia, and St. Louis.

As you might expect — and decidedly through no fault of Frankel’s own — the quality of the papers is sometimes compromised, nor does every article scale the heights of Prose Mountain (a mountain that doesn’t exist, but which I have just invented for the purposes of a shit metaphor).

As you might also expect, there are some excellent moments, such as this excerpt from what appears to be the August 12th, 1911, edition of the Cleveland Leader — a passage that it is literally impossible to read aloud except in a Mid-Atlantic accent and while drinking scotch in Bert Sugar’s den.

The real test of a pitcher is his work in pinches. Barney Pelty stood the test. Three times Cleveland batters had the chance to put the spectators in a happy frame of mind and three times these batters ignominiously whiffed.

Below is an image of the paper from which that excerpt is taken. (Note: if clicking doesn’t lead to ample embiggening, attempt to right-click for the purposes of opening in a new window.)

Finder’s fee owed to Mr. Larry Granillo.

The Detroit Free Press is reporting today that Cy Young and MVP-award winner Justin Verlander will adorn the box of his very own cereal. Proceeds of Verlander’s Fastball Flakes, manufactured by Pittsburgh-based PLB Sports, will benefit VA Hospitals in Detroit and Ann Arbor.

What other designs did PLB consider before giving the go-ahead to Verlander’s cereal? Our Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has acquired that information, and shares it now with you, in easy-to-read English™.

Here are five baseball-themed cereals that PLB won’t be making:

Name: Tony Plush’s Cereal Grains for Gentlemen
Rejected Because: Manufacturers were concerned about public reaction to suggestion that single-malt scotch is “part of a complete breakfast.”

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Earlier today, equally (a) dapper and (b) deceased gent Old Hoss Radbourn proposed the settings for a fantasy league that would most honor the achievement that was his base-and-ball career.

Because we at NotGraphs are 110% dedicated to honoring achievements, the present author used his internetting skills to embed Hoss’s tweet for the benefit of our wide readership. Because we at NotGraphs are also dedicated to “expending minimal effort,” said tweet was accompanied by literally six words.

Since that post, however, I’ve done a lot of thinking. Most of that thinking has been about how irresistible I must be — like, in a sexual way — while working out at the gym. Some of that thinking, however, has concerned how maybe I should’ve put more than, like, seven seconds of work into something that could so very clearly change the course of human history.

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Yahoo! allows the following fantasy base ball categories: Wins, CG, IP, Shutouts, Hit batters. Time to create an Old Hoss League. Who is in?

— Old Hoss Radbourn (@OldHossRadbourn) February 20, 2012

CC: Every author at RotoGraphs.

Welcome to you, too, CBS Sports ULive.

The college baseball season began this past weekend and, owing to a conspicuous absence of the professional game available for public consumption, I resolved that finding a collegiate game between two talented programs would serve as a serviceable antidote.

After reading Baseball American Aaron Fitt’s preview of the weekend’s games, I settled upon the series between No. 10 Vanderbilt and No. 2 Stanford as the one I’d most like to watch.

As one might expect, the viewing options were quite limited. The series was not broadcast by ESPN, or even ESPN3 (which appears not to carry any sort of collegiate baseball until a pair of games on March 2nd).

I could, however, access an online feed through the sites of both the Stanford and the Vanderbilt baseball programs.

In both cases, I was redirected to the Stanford Videos page — which appears, in this case at least, to serve as a sort of Stanford-themed “skin” for CBS Sports ULive, what I gather to be the streaming arm of the CBS Sports College Network.

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@craigcalcaterra just fyi, I’m in the best shape of my life. Thought you should have the scoop. #motivated #quotes #sigh

— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) February 18, 2012

Brandon McCarthy, owner of a popular Twitter account and two excellent fastballs, wants both (a) Craig Calcaterra and (b) everyone else to know that he’s in the best shape of his you-know-what as spring training begins in Arizona.

Jack Moore is currently working a on post about the Yankees’ trade of A.J. Burnett to the Pittsburgh Pirates. This is his first draft, which is clickable for the purposes of embiggening.

Founder David Appelman’s wife, who possesses flawless (a) skin and (b) taste, bought 25 of these shirts — which make reference to a certain, famous chapter in this site’s annals — for her husband. They (i.e. the shirts) may or may not have been designed by the present author and Eno Sarris.

I can’t guarantee that it’ll work, but if this is something about which you’d be interested in acquiring in exchange for American currency, you might consider writing your senator. Or, alternatively, making note of same in the comments section.