It is nothing new to suggest that the level of discourse on the internet — and perhaps off of it, too — lacks much in the way of civility. The precise reasons for this have surely been considered by people more qualified than the present author by methods more rigorous than the present author is likely or willing to employ. Given the ubiquity of internetting aspersion, though, and the frequency with which it’s cast, there is clearly some satisfaction being derived by the casters.

Nor is one free from verbal histrionics even within the otherwise friendly confines of WhatIfSports’ simulated baseball game Hardball Dynasty. Without dwelling upon the particulars of that game at length, it’s sufficient to note that, as part of said game, a human owner can attempt to sign free-agent players by means of a page that looks very much like this (click to embiggen):

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Very Late Quiz below!

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Here in Fukuoka for China-Cuba. Estimated crowd: 86 people.

— Ben Badler (@BenBadler) March 4, 2013

As the tweet here indicates, the China-Cuba World Baseball Classic game this morning was attended by few enough people such that Baseball America’s Ben Badler — who’s in Fukuoka, Japan, for Pool A play — could actually count them all with his own eyes.

The sum he found? About 86.

Assuming that about half of attendees were affiliated with some major-league organization or another, we might conclude that there were 43 paid fans at the aforementioned contest.

What follows is either (a) a list of all those fans or (b) the first 43 names produced by a random-name generator on the internet.

You decide!

01. Gamil Hisham Abatangelo
02. Morgan Antiman Amantea
03. Brutus Martin Amsel
04. Ívarr Firefight Audley
05. Mani Nelu Beck

06. Maximinus Jarl Beringer
07. Adalhard Stígandr Mac Branain
08. İlkin Lael Carver
09. Paramonos Caspian Chase
10. Romanus Kapil Crawford

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Andrew Miller pitched for Boston on Sunday, March 3rd, 2013, against the New York Yankees. He threw 15 pitches and struck out all three batters he faced. His entire appearance lasted just three or four minutes.

This is that same appearance, condensed into ca. 30 seconds.

Video stolen without malice from MLB.com.

Insofar as every image of Chris Snelling is an image of Chris Snelling just seconds before an injury, so is this image an image of Chris Snelling — who was just removed in the third inning of this evening’s WBC opener — seconds before an injury.

Because he uses his time wisely and has all of his priorities entirely straight, the author has dedicated a not insubstantial portion of his life to acquainting himself (and the expensively educated NotGraphs readership) with the center-field camera shots of all 30 major-league teams.

Because he continues to use his time wisely, the author has dedicated a less substantial — but not inconsequential — portion of this very afternoon to acquainting himself (and now the expensively educated NotGraphs readership) with the camera angles currently being employed during spring-training broadcasts on MLB.TV.

The reader will note that there are only 10 images below. In fact, this appears to represent nearly all of the parks that will be broadcasting games for the moment. Other clubs scheduled to debut broadcasts in the near future are as follows: the Toronto Blue Jays (March 2nd), the Atlanta Braves (March 3rd), and the San Diego Padres (March 3rd).

As one might expect, the spring camera shots are less excellent than those utilized at the major-league level — with literally none of them employing the straight-on center-field angle that has become more popular at the game’s highest level, and allows spectators the best possible views of pitch movement. This isn’t a complaint, but rather an observation.

Among the best below are the Phillies’ center-field angle and — for the tightness of the shot, if not the angle itself — the Nationals’ camera.

Baltimore Orioles

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The author has just learned how to integrate slideshows — i.e. the highest form of human communication — into the pages of NotGraphs. Let’s commemorate this important moment by enjoying a slideshow populated by seven images in which former major-leaguer John Kruk is definitely sweating.

To wit:

[slideshow_deploy id=’44189′]

Delino Guapo Burlington Aristocrats Age: 24 B/T: R/R Born: San Isidro, DO Position(s): RF/CIF/2B/LF/DH View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Originally signed by Tampa Bay for $7.6 million out of San Isidro, Dominican Republic, in Season No. 20 of Aaron Gleeman’s Hardball Dynasty league, Delino Guapo has been both a top prospect and a relative disappointment after failing to even approximate at the major-league level his excellent numbers from the minors. Following mid-season trade to Burlington, however, Guapo was more productive, slashing .283/.311/.421 in 145 at-bats — many of them in Burlington’s pitcher-friendly ballpark — while also going 9-for-12 on stolen-base attempts.

Guapo enters Season No. 26 as Burlington’s starting right fielder. He recently sat down with the author, who is also Guapo’s general manager and manager and human caretaker, in general.

Carson Cistulli: So, you’re a fictional ballplayer?

Delino Guapo: Yes. I’m entirely virtual — basically just an algorithm to which has been ascribed the most cursory of human-type details: a country of origin, aesthetically unpleasant facial hair, a hat with a letter on it.

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Pitching against the Mets on Wednesday, Cardinals right-handed prospect Michael Wacha recorded five strikeouts in 3.0 innings.

Mets broadcaster Keith Hernandez was impressed by Wacha’s outing, as the following audio demonstrates — of Hernandez himself, and then Beck’s sexy hit “Mixed Bizness” from sexy millennial album Midnite Vultures, which (a) happened to be the next track in the author’s iTunes playlist and (b) seemed peculiarly appropriate given the circumstances.

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Mets broadcaster Gary Cohen (pictured above) is alone in the world because we are all alone in the world.

As the image below indicates, however — from today’s SNY broadcast of the Cardinals-Mets spring-training game in Port St. Lucie — Gary Cohen is also alone in the most literal sense.

“Ah Gary Cohen! Ah Humanity!” wrote Herman Melville for reasons that weren’t entirely clear ca. 150 years ago — but which now reveal both (a) his own prescience and (b) Gary Cohen’s existential isolation.