Because it has pleasantly surprised gentleman statistician Bill Petti, it might very well surprise pleasantly at least one other reader, too, to learn that, in the first inning of today’s Cubs-Mets game, the WGN broadcast presented run expectancy charts for the edification of the Viewing Public.
Like in this instance, for example, with a runner on third, one out, and Anthony Rizzo batting:
While eventually only losing by a score of 7-6, the Milwaukee Brewers conceded five of the Cardinals’ seven total runs in the first inning of the clubs’ Friday night game in St. Louis (box).
That the evening might be a difficult one was not lost on veteran broadcaster and muscular bodyguard of leisure Bob Uecker, who informed the Listening Public how much beer would be a sufficient amount to bring him peace.
To suggest that the author has spent nearly two hours of his Thursday night/Friday morning browsing through videos of outfielders recording spectacular assists would be to suggest a true thing.
To suggest that same thing within the vicinity of the author’s wife would be what is known generally as an “exercise in folly.”
The following tweet — concerning primarily Miami left-hander Brad Hand’s involvement in the theater arts — is entirely and in-no-way altered from the original (click to embiggen):
El Venado Herido — or, in English, The Wounded Deer — is an instant masterpiece by Joseph. The image is of Joseph’s head placed on top of a stag, which is pierced with arrows. The arrows no doubt refer to his own pain and suffering due to having been demoted twice within the span of a month — this, despite his conspicuously mature offensive approach. At the bottom of the painting, Joseph has written “carma,” — one meaning of which is something like “destiny” or “fate.” In this painting, as in most of Joseph’s self-portraits, he presents himself as incapable of changing his own destiny.
It should not surprise the reader to learn that the present author — who is covered both in gold chains and Drakkar Noir — has written, recorded, and is currently mixing/editing a sexy R&B single addressed predominantly to Yankees prospect Corban Joseph’s plate discipline. While Joseph himself was demoted to Triple-A earlier this week, he recorded seven major-league plate appearances — and swung, during those same plate appearances, at either just zero or one pitches outside the strike zone (depending on the source).
What follows is not the aforementioned song in its entirety — because that will be released in such a way as to make the author Goddamn Wealthy — but rather, in the tradition of Barry White and that one guy from Boyz II Men, a transcript of the song’s brief, but powerful, spoken-word interlude.
I just can’t get my mind off of you,
Corban Joseph’s PITCHf/x swing chart
from the Texas Leaguers website.
I bookmarked you on my web browser of choice.
I even emailed a link of you to my own self,
so I could access you more easily
via my brand-name smart phone later on.
On the one hand, Josh Hamilton’s enthusiasm for swinging — documented in some depth recently by FanGraphs managing editor Dave Cameron — has very likely hurt his ability to produce at a high level offensively. On the other, it allows one to make amusing constellations from the pitches at which Hamilton has swung.
Yesterday, we considered just such a constellation — in that case, of what appears to be an ugly fedora — from all of Josh Hamilton’s swings against Chicago White Sox pitchers this past Saturday.
Here, now, we see another entry to what may or may not become an ongoing series — in this case, informed by data from Hamilton’s May 8th game against Bud Norris, Jose Veras, and the Houston Astros (box). The constellation here bears more than a passing resemblance to the alien spacecraft from Disney’s 1986 film Flight of the Navigator, just tilted on its side a little. The ship, voiced by Paul Reubens, identifies itself as a Trimaxian Drone Ship from the planet Phaelon — which ship the Navigator in question (played by a young Joey Cramer) nicknames “Max.”
Credit to Texas Leaguers for the strikezone plot.
On the one hand, Josh Hamilton’s enthusiasm for swinging — documented in some depth recently by FanGraphs managing editor Dave Cameron — has very likely hurt his ability to produce at a high level offensively. On the other, it allows one to make amusing constellations from the pitches at which Hamilton has swung.
Above is just such a constellation — in this case, of what appears to be an ugly fedora — from all of Josh Hamilton’s swings against Chicago White Sox pitchers this past Saturday (box). According to PITCHf/x, Hamilton swung at 33.3% of all pitches outside the zone and 52.6% of total pitches during the course of the game — which figures, to be fair, are almost not considerably above league average.
Credit to Brooks Baseball for strikezone plots.
What the reader might not know — but is certainly going to find out following the completion of this unnecessary em-dashed aside — is that, among the categories to which NotGraphs authors can assign their posts, there’s one called Charlie Blackmon Info.
“Why is there a category called Charlie Blackmon Info?” a reader might ask — nor does the author have any intention of discouraging the reader’s natural curiosity. Still, asking that question, one might as well also ask, “How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?” Or: “How, after managing to get a moonbeam into your hand, do you make sex to it?”
Some questions, in other words, are unable to be answered — or, at the very least, unable to be answered without the aid of a harrowing diagram.
In any case, the purpose of this particular edition of Charlie Blackmon Info is to alert the entire world that (a) in his third plate appearance of the season, recently promoted Colorado outfield Charlie Blackmon homered and that (b) the author has commemorated Blackmon’s home run in American GIF form, with the caveat that (c) the video quality of the GIF isn’t particularly great, because (d) the author’s modem is working poorly, even though (e) the author’s wife has repeatedly reminded him to call for repair, while (f) the author has secretly prayed in his heart for the problem to resolve itself.
All of which is to say:
#Rays Rodney has a plantain tucked in his pants for team photo. That is all.
— Marc Topkin (@TBTimes_Rays) May 11, 2013
In either case, according to Rays beat reporter Marc Topkin, he really does have a plantain in his pocket.
