The image above of Torii Hunter (which image one can embiggen most expediently by clicking) appears merely to depict the Tigers right fielder taking advantage of a free moment to stretch his legs during the sixth inning of today’s Grapefruit League contest between Atlanta and Detroit — nor, in fact, are appearances entirely misleading in this case.

As both Sergei Eisenstein and probably also one of Sergei Eisenstein’s friends took pains to establish, however, any image must be considered with the context that it’s presented — and the context in which the above image was originally presented provides layers of meaning that would put most onions (which have many layers, is the point) to shame.

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Footage like this of Peterson tripling off tough lefty Javier Lopez is part of the problem.

JUPITER, FL – An internet baseball weblogger who is definitely not the same one responsible for this post acknowledged early on Tuesday morning that first making and then intently watching GIFs of a San Diego shortstop prospect — regardless of actual motive — was probably inappropriate in some way.

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On the occasion of the latter’s fifth birthday, the author’s wife spoke with our niece this past weekend. Among the topics of conversation: that same niece’s capacities as a wiffleball player. Whether she has a future at the highest level of the sport remains unclear. If scouting reports courtesy of her own self are accurate, however, the bat will almost certainly play, regardless of position.

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It won’t surprise anyone familiar with my colleague Dayn Perry or his work to learn that he passes the majority of his nights and days entirely sans shirt. It is wholly within the realm of credulity, moreover, to find that the only garment for which Perry exhibits any tolerance — because it allows him to evacuate at leisure — is a disposable diaper. Finally, no one anywhere is likely to disbelieve the suggestion that Product of the American South Dayn Perry devotes a sizable portion of his waking life to striking his head against objects both foreign and domestic (with a marked preference for the latter, naturally).

What has happened today? Today, noted weblogger Dayn Perry was spotted at a Cubs game.

At about 4am ET this morning — a time when only criminals and Australians (i.e. a very tan criminal) are awake and active — the Arizona Diamondbacks and Los Angeles Dodgers began the 2014 baseball season.

The event, of course, carries all manner of significance for all manner of people. For the present author, however, the main concern regarding the contest wasn’t the final score or how Yasiel Puig looked as he entered his sophomore campaign, but rather how many pitches right-hander Kenley Jansen would require to emasculate an opposing batter with his emasculating cutter.

The answer, as the footage below indicates, appears to have been “roughly zero pitches.”

With his club leading by a score of 3-1, Jansen entered the game in the ninth inning — which inning he began with a 92 mph cutter to Mark Trumbo, as illustrated here:

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Until this moment, reader, we have lived in a world that did not feature publicly available spreadsheets containing data relevant to an idiot weblogger’s pursuit of the motor vehicle ideal both for his lifestyle and his wallet. Now we live in a different world, however — namely, one that does feature those sorts of spreadsheets with that sort of data. Is it a better one (i.e. world)? Manifestly not.

Below is the aforementioned spreadsheet, featuring 15 autos all more or less within the same class. For each vehicle, I’ve included figures most relevant to the interests of myself and my damn wife — namely, price of the base package (MSRP), highway fuel efficiency (MPG), and cargo space (in cubic feet) with the rear seats folded down (CAP). All models are from 2014, except the Honda Fit, which is from 2013. Cargo space figures for the Prius C were too troublesome to locate, so I’ve utilized merely the average figure from the other 14 models.

Regard:

The results here appear to suggest that the Mitsubishi Mirage is potentially the appropriate automobile for myself and my wife as we rocket upwards into the middle class. Notably, this doesn’t seem to be an opinion shared by Edmunds, for example, which cites “uncoordinated handling” as one of the car’s main problems. A coincidence, that, as my wife has frequently suggested that I suffer from a similar deficiency.

At RotoGraphs today — and also during breakfast this morning at a Tempe-area diner — the absurdly coiffed Eno Sarris presented evidence to the effect that, by one definition, that baseball’s best pitch in 2013 was the changeup belonging to right-handed Mets reliever Gonzalez Germen.

“I shall manufacture a GIF of it, then!” I announced during that same breakfast in response to Eno’s comments. “I have manufactured a GIF of it!” I am proclaiming right now, because Truth is the star by which my ship is guided.

The context having been established, then, I present this footage from September 27th of Germen striking out Milwaukee infielder Jeff Bianchi by way of the changeup:

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Salt River Field: Just one example of where you can sit in the shade while also drinking.

A recent study conducted by the author at Salt River Field in Scottsdale, Arizona, reveals that SITTING IN THE SHADE AND DRINKING is a wonderful pastime worthy of our attention.

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When a man has sexual feelings inside of himself, the way he generally wants to express them is by means of rubbing his hands awkwardly all over the object of his affections — a task which, upon completion, he commemorates by means either of a celebratory fist pump or other, similar celebratory gesture.

Photographic evidence from the cover of the Dodgers game-day program suggests that Adrian Gonzalez has completed such a task. For photographic evidence suggests that Adrian Gonzalez, first baseman of your Los Angeles Dodgers, has gotten to second base with the whole desert.

This bassist actually appears to know a little bit what love is.

Much like the various members of popular British-American rock band Foreigner, I have often wanted to know what love is. Nor, as is the case with Mick Jones et al., have I neglected to ask this or that individual to provide a simple, illustrative demonstration of same (i.e. love).

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