How many words is this picture of word’s worth?

Courtesy of @MLBTransactions and the elderly R.J. Anderson’s watchful eye.

For years now, the exact identity of former FanGraphs contributor (now of mortal enemy Baseball Prospectus) R.J. Anderson has been a subject of no little speculation.

Was he a 13-year-old boy, as some suspected? Was he a cyborg created by other FanGraphs writer Dave Allen? Was he both the father and son of Rays VP Andrew Friedman?

Thanks to DRaysBay and RotoGraphs contributor Erik Hahmann, however, the mystery of R.J. Anderson’s true self has been demystified. Hahmann recently attended a Rays game with Jonah Keri and some other stone-cold nerds — including Anderson himself.

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While it was Prometheus who gave blind hope to all humankind, it’s MLB.com’s Brian McTaggart who has most recently re-gifted it (i.e. blind hope) — this time, in the form of an article which suggests the Astros aren’t terrible.

That’s not to criticize McTaggart himself, of course. He’s the beat reporter for the Astros and is doing his job when he quotes GM Ed Wade saying something like, “I think we’re going to be OK in a lot of different areas” and “I still think we’ve got the components to be a really solid ballclub” and “No, I’m not naked. I’m just wearing a suit of clothes that’re invisible to those unfit for their positions, stupid, or incompetent.”

There are certain situations into which we’re thrust in this life that cause us to take stock of things, reassess our understanding of the world, and ask the big questions.

For example, the high-school senior, upon getting accepted to multiple universities, must wonder, “Do I follow my sweetheart to X, or forge my own way at Y?” Alternatively, while on a cross-country flight, one is sometimes forced to ask — at least once in his life — “Is it objectively worse to end my own life, or the life of this spoilt child?”

Without taking too many liberties, I believe we can safely conclude that reader Michael is currently experiencing one of these existential episodes.

For it’s in a recent email to Team NotGraphs’ Hot Hotline that Michael wrote the following, under the subject “Mustache for Your Consideration”:

Not sure if you’ve covered this one yet, but one MLB mustache that’s been bothering me is the one sported by new Seattle manager Eric Wedge. I’m a Cleveland fan, so know Wedge from his (mustache-free) days there, so it’s kind of compelling that he’s launched his career in Seattle with this rakish Stacy Keach-style number.

For reference, I’ve included below pictures of both the Cleveland-era Wedge and Stacy Keach. Good luck telling them apart!

The conspicuous difficulty with political propaganda is that it’s designed expressly to appeal to the emotions — to condense all of (generally) a political candidate’s thoughts and views into a single image or catchphrase, and, in so doing, to convince its audience to abandon the very important faculty of reason.

This is unfortunate at some level. For while the effects of propaganda are generally hostile to a sober democracy, there’s also no denying that the feelings upon which propaganda preys — i.e. the desire to be a part of something larger, the desire to marvel at something excellent — are not objectively bad.

Thus it is that internet denizen The Common Man (of the SweetSpot Network’s Platoon Advantage) has maybe provided a small gift to the baseball-loving public with the image you see embedded here — a pastiche of Shepard Fairey’s Hope poster. Except instead of asking us to abandon reason in matters political, TCM’s work allows us to enjoy the pleasures of propaganda without any of the usual side effects.

It’s likely that readers of FanGraphs willn’t be surprised to learn that Ranger outfielder and 2010 AL MVP Josh Hamilton will be out injured for the next six-to-eight weeks. As SB Nation’s Jon Bois notes today, Hamilton has suffered frequent injuries since his 2007 debut.

However, as further and super-sleuthful research has revealed, Hamilton’s injury list is actually much lengthier than Bois — or anyone else, for that matter — knows.

Exclusive here, at NotGraphs, we’ve reproduced Hamilton’s complete injury history since 2007 — featuring some ailments you willn’t have seen reported on ESPN.

Regard:

5-19-07, 15-day DL, gasteroenteritis
7-8-07, 15-day DL, sprained wrist
8-23-07, day-to-day, cauliflower earring
9-17-07, day-to-day, hamstring soreness (listed again as “strain” on 9-13-07)
4-5-08, day-to-day, Mexican tooth
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If there’s one thing a man wants, it’s to be immortalized in the very permanent medium that is Twitter.

That thing is what’s happening right now to Tampa Bay Ray, New Hampshire native, and Member of the Tribe Sam Fuld.

After the jump, you can find some prime examples of Sam Fuld-related panegyric. Feel free to embrace all the magic by clicking here.

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I’m only stating the obvious, reader, when I state that NotGraphs, despite the relative brevity of its existence, has already become an industry leader. “In what ‘industry,’ exactly?” is maybe what you’re asking when you read that. Well, that’s a tough question with a number of really technical answers. Still, it’s a true and unavoidable fact.

One quality we here at NotGraphs have demonstrated over and again is our ability to know what people are thinking and doing at any given moment. Thanks to the efforts of our Investigative Reporting Investigation Team, we recently revealed the exact thoughts certain members of the 1978 Philadelphia Phillies were thinking at the exact moment said team’s photo was snapped.

In what follows, we provide — via the most rigorous and modern techniques available — the five things Red Sox catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia was most likely saying to pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka on Monday night, as the latter waited to be removed from the game by manager Terry Francona following a dismal performance against the Rays.

Regard, quotes:

• Buddy is going to the farm, Dice-K. It’s just not the type of farm you can visit.

• I think we’re alone now (alone now). / There doesn’t seem to be anyone a-rou-ound.

• Just rub some olive oil on it. That’s what we Saltalamacchias have always done.

• Why’d I put all this Wite-Out on my effing fingers if you were just gonna throw the same pitch every time, dude? Seriously, look at it from my perspective: this stuff’s, like, impossible to clean off.

• That’s not the only thing that ends in a vowel, if you know what I mean.

Alec Baldwin and John Krasinski have at least two things in common that I can think of at the moment. One, they both star in pretty excellent examples of that most modern of art forms, the situation comedy. Two, while both are excellent comic actors, neither’s particularly funny on his own. (Note: this isn’t an indictment at all, just an observation.)

Apparently, a third thing binds Messrs. Baldwin and Krasinki — namely, the willingness to trade their likenesses and comic talents for American currency. Which, an example of that is what you see in this video here, a commercial in which the pair have starred for New Era.

The ad company of record is Brooklyn Brothers, who actually have some pretty entertaining work available at their site.

H/T: My intelligent and attractive sister.

If this image looks familiar it’s either because (a) my colleague Eno Sarris submitted it for the readership’s consideration this morning or (b) you’ve recently time-traveled here from that epoch in our history known as “The Good Times.” In either case, please keep reading: this document is important to your life.

I’m informing the reader of nothing new when I suggest that internet culture is dedicated to speed. However, there are some texts — a term (i.e. text) that I use in its broadest sense — there are some texts that are worthy of further consideration.

I’ll suggest right here that this Phillies team photo is one such text.

To that end, I’ve done some research — with no little help from our in-house Investigative Reporting Investgation Team — and managed to isolate the precise thoughts that some of this photograph’s subjects were thinking on that spring day in 1978, the accounts and descriptions of which you can find below.

The numbers you see below correspond with numbers inserted into the image above. The thoughts are rendered as authentically as possible.

Regard, truth/beauty:

1. Do I drink Jack Daniels? F*ck you, kid. I am Jack Daniels.

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