Went to the Brewers-Reds game last night at Miller Park. Decent amount of Reds fans there in a modest crowd (27,000-ish).
Often, I make a point of taking noticing the most popular jerseys worn by the visiting team’s fans. Joey Votto was pretty popular, of course. Saw a few Johnny Bench’s. Strangely, I don’t recall seeing any Brandon Phillips jerseys.
But I did see this:
I sought him out to shake his hand.
Until now, nobody knew this about me: on Mondays, I like to play a little game called “What Was Kent Hrbek Thinking/Smoking/Digesting?”
Won’t you play with me?
Materials for this game are readily available as, for some reason, Kent Hrbek’s life during and after baseball is well documented with candid photos, many of which appeared on baseball cards. Kent was just a photogenic guy. A single Google search might produce hours of fun, but I normally limit myself to one or two rounds of “What Was Kent Hrbek Thinking/Smoking/Digesting?” per Monday. You would be wise to do the same.
Here’s how to play:
Find an image of Kent Hrbek that you haven’t considered previously, open it in a separate browsing window, and enlarge the photo until it covers your entire screen as nearly as possible. Stare deeply. Try to achieve a state of mind wherein only you and Kent/picture of Kent exist. Ask yourself, out loud, “What was Kent Hrbek thinking, smoking, and/or digesting during the moment this photo was taken?”
Allow me to share a few of my own results with you:
Probably all of my NotGraphs comrades, not to mention you, the erudite reader, have already read The Art of Fielding, a novel by Chad Harbach. The lovely website Poets & Pitchers hosted a reading group for the book when it came out last fall, to which NotGraphs heroes Carson Cistulli and Dayn Perry contributed.
I, a slacker, began reading said just this past weekend. So far (175 pages in), I am most taken with “the book within the book,” a collection of Zen-like adages with the same title as the novel, written by fictitious Hall-of-Fame shortstop Aparicio Rodriguez (who is at least a little bit based on Ozzie Smith). The central mantra of the book within the book, at least for character Henry Skrimshander, seems to be:
26. The shortstop is a source of stillness at the center of the defense. He projects his stillness and his teammates respond.
Of course, similar texts exist in our world:
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Briefest of giddy dotings for May Day:
If you’re like me — or, if you’re like Darnell McDonald — you can’t wait for Manny to get to be Manny on a baseball field again. Darnell pays great tribute to Manny, perhaps hoping to harness some of that power.
Manny at left, Darnell at right. Psyche!
Note to acolytes of “Great” Dayn Perry: I do this with Dayn’s blessing, though he may regret that soon enough…
Young Cal Ripken, Jr., at just eleven years old, was already a shortstop for the Baltimore Orioles.
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Recently, this unfortunate series appeared in my Twitter feed:
On the eve of April 24th, all of the above mentioned young pitchers threw some phenomenal innings. I had intended to point the attentions of my Twitter followers toward these budding stars’ performances; now, however, I fear that I might have actually suggested them as victims for a Count Canseco feeding frenzy. (I’m sure they are all delectable.)
It should be noted that being biten by vampire José Canseco does not result in death, vampirism, or even severe blood loss — any or all of which might be preferable to the actual consequences of said: dramatic increase in synthetic testosterone levels and, thus, unofficial blacklisting from Major League Baseball and/or general respectability — not to mention accompanying issues with sexual performance, anger management, etc.
It’s entirely possible that the baseball careers and personal lives of Milone, Bundy, and Taillon will be ruined in short order.
I blame myself.
This is St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Mitchell Boggs:
Like many a reader or writer of NotGraphs, I’m a fan of wacky facial hair, and this here beard-thing is pretty bitchin’.
You know what else I like? Cats! And bitchin’ness aside, there’s no question that said beard-thing causes Mr. Boggs to closely resemble a Persian cat. The question, dear readers, is which of the following Persian cats does Mr. Boggs most resemble? Please weigh your options carefully, then cast a vote via the embedded poll below.
I really like it when a baseball bat is referred to as a “wand.” I also like the name “Wandy.” I don’t know why; some words just strike a mind as funny — like honk, or Blastorama, or cheesepipe.
This weekend’s MLB games provided at least two photographic instances wherein a magic-based nickname was particularly applicable:
“Bat, I command you: hover afore my zombie posture!”
Tyler Greene’s Bat, A Metaphor
Neither Photoshop nor any other editing software was used in the construction of these images — though smoke, mirrors, and/or David Blaine might have been.
You might remember a complacent Mark Reynolds munching some sunflower seeds after a Red Sox homerun last year. NotGraphs’ Navin Vaswani commented upon what quickly became one of the years biggest and best baseball memes.
Wondering, though, did anyone notice that last night, as the Orioles trounced the White Sox, that Reynolds took his seed addiction to a new level? During a plate appearance in which he would record an RBI double, Reynolds went to bat holding a sack of his preferred David’s brand sunflower seeds, ranch flavored. Upon arriving at second base, Reynolds rewarded himself with a mouthful of said.
Like a sugared carrot dangling afore a donkey, so are David’s ranch flavors to Mark Reynolds.
Mark Reynolds, toting the treat that would be consumed.
The Major League Baseball season is long, and, theoretically, there’s a reason for that even beyond making the league and owners a ton of money: to ensure that the best teams win out in the long run; i.e., to mitigate the effects of short-term luck.
At the same time, Commissioner Bud Selig has recently proposed and pushed through the addition of a second wild card team from each league. The extra spot makes the results of the long season a bit less meaningful, as a team that would have otherwise been an also-ran could have a hot September, nab a wild card, win the one-game playoff, and go all the way with your mom!.
Realizing that he has made a mistake — that only the very best teams should play for the pennants — but also realizing that it’s too late to revoke the second wild card, the Commish has decided to correct this by significantly amending the regular season schedule: he’s borrowed the idea of “running it twice” from the world of high stakes poker.