If you’ve ever seen Kyle Blanks — in person, on TV, in a dream you had this one time but’d prefer not to talk about — then the above image (captured from the official site of Minor League Baseball) will give you a brief chuckle before you turn back to considerably more important things.
If you haven’t ever seen Blanks, then picture a bear in a Padres cap. Except the bear can talk and eats normal food. And it has to pay taxes like everyone else and also it has human parents. And it went to college for a little bit. And some other things.
Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.