This was going to be a hyuckster piece full of jokes — what’s in there, the taste of despair with a tinge of of tears, and how’d they crystallize the taste of hubris so well for Yankee cola — but it all pales when put next to this fine piece of advertisement. It’s worth clicking the link even if you don’t speak Japanese, just to see the interactivity and bizarreness in its full splendor. We’ve just spent a couple months hearing about American exceptionalism but have you ever seen an ad here in the states that so well combined the elements of fear, play, sex, sadness and joy?

A scream in the ear of Patrick Newman for sending this my way.

Right-hander Jeremy Jeffress was traded Thursday from Kansas City to Toronto. What follows is an entirely and in-no-way altered tweet concerning his (i.e. Jeffress’s) contract status (click to embiggen):

The reader will likely have heard by now that free agent Delmon Young pleaded guilty Wednesday to aggravated harassment stemming from an April incident which included the former Tiger and Twin and Ray yelling anti-Semitic remarks outside a New York City hotel (which, if you’re going to do it, is pretty much the place to go around yelling anti-Semitic remarks).

What readers might not know, however, is that Young utilized his court appearance on Wednesday to clear his conscience on some other matters, too — transgressions less of the legal, and more of the moral, variety.

On His O-Swing%: “People always said think outside the box — which, it’s recently come to my attention that box and strike zone aren’t synonymous in this case. That’s on me. That’s Delmon Young’s bad.”

Read the rest of this entry »

I think guys like Jonny Gomez/Kelly Shoppach/Kyle Farnsworth could have some value for the Stros.

— Jared Webb (@webberoo11) October 30, 2012

Sorry, Twitter is pretty quiet regarding Kelly Shoppach.

Mets keeping an eye on Miguel Olivo, unlikely to retain Kelly Shoppach > on.sny.tv/SOIHNi #snymets

— MetsBlog.com (@metsblog) October 28, 2012

Jason Bay and the New York Mets have agreed to part amicably. Bay issued a statement about still having something to give to the game (i.e. a walking example of “replacement level outfielder” (amirite?)). MLBTR has an excerpt from the statement here.

Shuffle, Kick, Hum a Tune…

We’ve one-upped them: Thanks to the NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team — which, powered by the MLB Patriot Act, is able to climb into homes through any available orifice (and should no orifice be readily available, it shall make one) and snatch shit off of desks, from under beds, out of cradles, &c., in the name of news — we have the original draft of Bay’s statement. (If you’re curious, it was printed on a dot-matrix printer and stained with what appears to be grape soda.) Here it is, then, in its entirety:

Read the rest of this entry »

With the rousing success of his projection methodology in a second straight presidential election, proprietor of the internet’s Five Thirty Eight and former baseball-projection savant Nate Silver has captured the attention of Americans everywhere. The NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has learned just this morning, however, that Silver will turn his attention away from politics for the moment and attempt to use his skills to reflect upon some other, perhaps more obscure, questions and concerns.

Questions and concerns such as these five:

Who’s Coming to Dinner
Stanley Kramer’s 1967 drama asked the question. Over 40 years later, Silver will endeavor to answer it.

Read the rest of this entry »

I do not care much for politics. If I wanted to watch people hurl bile at one another over issues that divide the populous, I’d just read baseball blogs. But regardless of your political affiliations, or lack thereof, I think we can all agree that we as baseball nerds were the big winners last night.

I’m speaking of course about Nate Silver, OG baseball nerd turned political pontificator. Mr. Silver used his statistical-minded analysis to correctly predict the outcome of the presidential election in all 50 states. This has caused some to wonder if Mr. Silver is, in fact, a witch.

Witch or not, Mr. Silver has been quite successful in his career transition. This led me to wonder: At which future careers would current NotGraphs writers be most successful? When we decide to spread our wings and put this shit town in our rear-view, to what profession should we aspire? I propose the following career paths for my brethren. If you disagree, please note that I spent all of five minutes thinking about this. And then go eat a dick.

Read the rest of this entry »

As much as I loved Torii Hunter I would love for the Angels to go after Josh Hamilton

— Billy McCall (@billymac_boi) November 4, 2012

Josh Hamilton to the Red Sox?

— Aaron Matthews (@AMatthews879) November 4, 2012

Why Josh Hamilton Should Be the Baltimore Orioles Top Offseason Priority adf.ly/EGrh9

— FansOriolesBaltimore (@oriolesbaltimor) November 4, 2012

I would give anything for Josh Hamilton to sign with the Marlins. We need a center fielder (could play left, too) & another big hitter.

— Andrew Macaluso (@_andymac) November 4, 2012

#MLB #News Braves Intrigued By Josh Hamilton .dlvr.it/2QcyjY #MustFollow Qoo

— Texas Rangers Fans (@i_TexasRangers) November 4, 2012

Los Yankees, Red Sox, Orioles, Mariners, Cubs, Astros y Cerverceros son los posibles destinos de Josh Hamilton para el 2013.

— JUAN MINAYA (@JUANMINAYA19) November 4, 2012

@michaelgbaron @therealtonybill @cnav6 josh Hamilton to mets done deal #insider

— Michael Markgjonaj (@Mike_Markgjonaj) November 1, 2012

Tim Dierkes at MLB Trade Rumors was the first major source to rank and make predictions about this off-season’s free agents, and many experts have since followed suit. (You have two days left to make your own predictions at MLBTR.)

At NotGraphs, it’s not our place to care about which teams these free agents end up with, or how much money they will make, or what the going rate for a open-market marginal win is, or how new leagues and ballparks will affect relocated players — that’s for a different kind of nerdlinger.

At this weblog, where we’re more concerned about player-celebrity dopplegangers, we’ll concern ourselves with prognostications of a different order: for whom the top free agents will vote on this fine Super Tuesday!**

Zack Greinke – Abstain (via Absentee Ballot)
Greinke sure as hell isn’t going to go to the polls and sit around in a dumb crowd for hours — he has a very sensitive sense of smell! Plus, he’s catching up on video game time. Also, he doesn’t want to vote for anyone — why would he do that? — but we heard that he did send a blank absentee ballot to Missouri, where he may or may not be registered.

Read the rest of this entry »

FanGraphs welcomes comments and suggestions, or complaints about errors that warrant correction.

Here are the corrections and clarifications from last week:

• Despite Jeff Sullivan’s claims to the contrary, there is no silent -z- in Babe Ruth’s name.

Read the rest of this entry »