Freddie Freeman’s a hugger. You can tell. Dan Uggla knows it. That’s why he’s gently placed his right hand on Freeman’s head. Freeman even uses leg. He’s getting his. He’s Freddie Freeman.
When reached for comment via email by our intrepid Investigative Reporting Investigation Team, Freeman, much to our surprise, replied (emphasis his):
Just a second, actually, to shaving cream pie himself in the face.
Now, this GIF isn’t hot, it happened over the weekend, but I, along with my fellow Canadians, was busy celebrating the birth of Queen Victoria. But, anyway, that’s Pagan being a good teammate, right there. Actually, a great teammate. Why should Panda have to do all the work? He went to all the trouble to make the shaving cream pie, and Pagan knows it’s coming, so why shouldn’t Angel chip in, and do some of the heavy lifting? That’s why the San Francisco Giants are winners, a Wild Card contender, and undefeated in games that involve shaving cream pies. You can’t argue with math.
Shaving cream pies for these two Tumblr accounts: Daily Dose of Baseball and And that’s the ball game.
It is, I believe, uncontroversial to suggest that the object for a base-and-ball pitcher is to prevent runs. It is slightly more — but still not very — controversial to suggest that, per DIPS theory, the best way for a pitcher to prevent runs is to record strikeouts while avoiding walks and home runs.
I dreamt last night that I received an email from José Bautista wanting to know whether or not FanGraphs ever talked about “big stars” like him for our “fluff pieces.” His attitude was kind of snippy in the email, but the takeaway was that he was 1. reading NotGraphs, and 2. annoyed that I spent so much time thinking about the likes of José Altuve when he himself exists.
In the dream, I responded to the email suggesting that we get together for coffee and have an interview, but he told me that he doesn’t date “reporters.” Obviously when I woke up, that left me with very little meat for my story about José Bautista, so instead here are some more pictures of Major League Baseball players with gloves on their head.
I usually cannot go a single day without Googling Mike Napoli, I don’t know about you.
In a recent Google image search, I happened upon this infographic, which was part of an article by Mike Fast at Baseball Prospectus:
I was taken by how odd the silhouettes looked: the back knee appears hyperextended, the gut uncomfortably drawn in, the entire body unbalanced. The arched back makes the figure look weak and tired. It doesn’t look like any real-life ballplayer.
But mostly I was incredulous that this silhouette was meant to represent Mike Napoli . . . and I was determined to fix it accordingly. Thus:
Read the rest of this entry »
A book I have not read but shall at my earliest convenience …
A belt? I thought I told you not to wear anything complicated, you prepossessing jade!
This is the seventh in a series of short excerpts from MLB Network’s entirely imaginary new fall sitcoms. More details here.
Today’s show: THE BIG HURT THEORY
You may have heard that Aroldis Chapman was arrested for speeding yesterday.
In other breaking news:
– Francisco Liriano arrested for jaywalking.
– Cole Hamels arrested for child abuse.
– Jaime Moyer arrested for loitering.
– Brett Lawrie arrested for disorderly conduct.
– Emilio Bonifacio arrested for not coming to a complete stop.
– Michael Bourn arrested for hit and run.
– Carlos Lee arrested for larceny.
– Giancarlo Stanton arrested for breaking and entering.
– Josh Hamilton arrested for illegally discharging a weapon.
– Albert Pujols arrested for illegally carrying a concealed weapon.
– Jim Johnson arrested for vigilantism.
– Chuck Knoblauch arrested for sexual harassment.
– Mariano Rivera’s ACL arrested for obstruction of justice.
On Monday night, with regular television play-by-play broadcaster Dave Barnett having fallen ill, radio broadcaster Steve Busby joined usual colorman Tom Grieve in the Fox Sports Southwest booth. That left universally beloved Texas Rangers broadcaster Eric Nadel by himself on KESN radio.
Nadel called the first and second innings on his own and then was joined by Rangers GM Jon Daniels for the third through fifth innings.
Daniels, demonstrating the sort of wide-ranging curiosity that has allowed him to construct a perennial World Series contender, took the opportunity to ask Nadel the toughest of tough questions — namely, how the latter planned to evacuate his bladder if and when the situation called for it.
