I believe we may have a meme on our hands.

First, Tony La Russa called a dog, who was very quick to note that he is, indeed, a dog.

Yo, dog. Thanks, dog.

Then, Tony La Russa was apparently having problems with his credit card company, and the customer service wasn’t very helpful (hat tip: Kyle Kaestner on Twitter):

Peggy doesn’t tend to be very helpful, whether it’s customer service or getting the right reliever warming.

Neither Peggy nor the dog helped get Jason Motte warming, but given the persistence of Tony La Russa, one can’t imagine he gave up there. So I leave it to you, NotGraphs readers. Who else did Tony La Russa call?

Good morning, Internet denizens.  Be aware that you will find within the words of this post two pictures.  One of the subjects of said pictures is an 80 year old man who has managed the Chicago Cubs to within a fortnight of the World Series, been touched roughly by the divine hands of Pedro Martinez, and finished exactly two hits shy of the 775 he needed to take up permanent residence in the hall of fame of our hearts.  The other is a little freeloader, who, as of two weeks hence, has taken up residence in my house without paying rent, wreaked havoc with my sleep patterns, peed on my bed, and couldn’t be bothered to use her words.  Can you guess which is the baby and which is the Zim-baby?

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Tampa Bay Rays catcher and celebrated mustachioed gentle-man, John Jaso, was apparently on a mountain sometime recently.

Baseball and Internet’s friend and associate, Fernando Perez, shared this enormous photo, made annoyingly small for the viewer’s convenience:

I once coined the term Mountain Mantality — an all-too-obvious combination of mountain man and the mentality therein — to help explain to my wife how my pants endure months on end without needing a wash and how peeing on a campfire is a rite of passage.

I feel like John Jaso, here pictured, helps embody that rugged out-of-doorsiness, and for that reason, should today be celebrated.

It turns out that your Daguerreotype of the Evening fits in nicely with one of the most cherished and august of NotGraphs categories. Please regard …

As you can see, this delicious baked good features Rangers frowning supreme exchequer Nolan Ryan in his younger, less jowly days. He is behorsed. He is cocksure. He twice walked more than 200 batters in a season.

The Appreciator will also appreciate that there are plastic horses on the cake. This is a flourish that can rightly be called “delightful.” There are also healthy examples of high-plains flora on the cake. This is flourish that can rightly be called “verisimilitudinous.”

A h/t to @iracane on Twitter for the scintillating image.

Bless the fine people at SB Nation for sharing this beauty with the world:

Not only do we have an excellent motion-picture story of the 2011 World Series Game 5 goings-on, we now have an appropriate GIF at the ready for all of life’s crap!

Forgot to take the tin foil off the ding dong? larussa-game5-worldseries.gif

Loaned $10 to Bernie Madoff? larussa-game5-worldseries.gif

Accidentally watched an episode of Two and a Half Men? larussa-game5-worldseries.gif

Drove two towns over to secretly exchange documents concerning the layout of certain intricate and highly sensitive government buildings, documents paid for by the highest price and sold at a price even higher, only to have left them in the car with the windows down during a torrential thunderstorm, and though the documents were safe, the care smelled like wet alley-cat for weeks? larussa-game5-worldseries.gif

Although they didn’t know it at the time, when Scott Feldman, Ian Kinsler, and Mike Napoli made their respective ways to the pitcher’s mound at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington last night, they were fashioning the set-up to a hilarious, and only probably slightly offensive, street joke.

The set-up to said joke definitely goes like this: “Two Jews and an Italian walk up to a pitcher’s mound.”

As for the premise and punchline, I know less about those, but I’m guessing it has something to do with their mutual admiration for pastrami.

Chris Carpenter, who cusses at everyone all the time more than you’ve cussed at anyone anytime, was at it again last night. His most recent victim? Besides pearl-clutching lip readers everywhere, it seemed that People’s Champion Mike Napoli was the target of Mr. Carpenter’s maledictions. At this point, we must roll tape …

But first, an urgent word of caution: This going to be loud, and this is going to be dirty. So unless you have a pair of Gentleman’s Headphones at the ready or unless your place of work is dedicated to accommodating the whims of the Internetting Gentleman, you should hold off. Again: Loud. Dirty. Forthwith:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9Dnj-5KGe4&feature=colike

Well, Mr. Carpenter, I never!

This has not been the work of the NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team, but it totally should’ve been.

A very lucky person’s backyard.

Men’s Health magazine went and ranked the luckiest cities in America earlier this month. Spoiler Alert — San Diego won, joining Baltimore as the only two cities in America with A+ luck. They defined luck as:

the most winners of Powerball, Mega Millions, and Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes; most hole-in-ones (PGA); fewest lightning strikes (including the fatal kind) and deaths from falling objects (Vaisala Inc., National Climatic Data Center, CDC); and least money lost on lottery tickets and race betting (Bureau of Labor Statistics).

Really, now we know that people in San Diego are rich enough to ignore lotteries, play a lot of golf, and stay indoors during the rare thurnderstorm. Is it really luck if San Diego is where people go after they win lottery?

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We have a category called “Great Moments in Spectacles.” What follows is a picture of the late, great Dave Ricketts, the man who won the category called “Great Moments in Spectacles”:

This has been Dave Ricketts and his faultless, unequaled spectacles. This has been your Daguerreotype of the Evening.