Archive for June, 2011

On Lenny

I idolized Lenny Dykstra. My first memories as a Phillies fan are from following their surprising, heavily mulleted, flash-in-a-pan 1993 season and the subsequent run to the World Series. As an impressionable six-year-old, I was drawn to Dykstra’s gritty (yes, I said it), seemingly fearless style of play. All of the things that induce snarkgasms from us statistically inclined fans when they are said or written by “old school” baseball commentators are the things I most admired in Dykstra — his leadership, his hustle, his heart, his “intangibles”. And, of course, it didn’t hurt that he was also the best player on the team. My naive six-year-old mind could not yet comprehend things like sociopathy, degeneracy, and performance enhancing drugs (apparently even fully functional adult minds couldn’t yet comprehend this).

So as a little leaguer in my very first coaches pitch YMCA league, I wore Dykstra’s number four. I begged to be put in centerfield. I dove for flyballs with reckless abandon. I slid hard into home. I chewed large wads of Bazooka and spit profusely. All because Lenny did it, and if Lenny did it, then it must have been right.

Read the rest of this entry »


Baseball Card Tourney: Sutter vs. Flanagan

Any former NCAA bracket owner knows that #1-seeds don’t lose in the first round – ever. And with the fire in Dennis Eckersley’s eyes, the doe-like innocence of Terry Felton wasn’t going to be the first to prevail. Eckersley moves on. Much like Rich Gale falling to Rollie Fingers the week before, the haughty style of the legendary closer is too much for mere mortals to overcome.

So what is it about closers in our sample? This week’s #1 is, once again, a bullpen ace. Although, to be fair, his style is more huggable than fierce, and his card more lovable than flaming hot.


#8. 1981 Donruss Mike Flanagan
This is some straight-up b-crap. Oh, he’s a loony lefty, a funny guy, he won’t care if we use a g-damn fuzzy picture for his card. You can’t even see my mustache. That’s not me throwing a pitch, that’s me dropping a frigging turd on the offices of Donruss. Oh I didn’t follow up my Cy Young season with greatness in 1980, did I? Well if someone could find my stinking strikeout rate, we could iron that little hiccup out, couldn’t we? Way to pick a winner to represent me, tourney president. I’ve got a one-finger salute for you.

Read the rest of this entry »


How To Take Out a Catcher, By Ty Cobb

The grim and pointless Buster Posey injury has, of course, served as kindling most flammable for a debate over the ritual abuse of catchers. As for me, when I want to watch football, I watch football. So there.

Still, unsanctioned beatings have an aesthetics to them. Do you prefer the Scott Cousins shoulder-block, or do you prefer the Ty Cobb approach, which, I must assume, is secretly referred to as the “Spikes-High Maximum Shotokan Breadbasket Konk-Smacky.” Or, if you prefer, the “”Spikes-High Maximum Shotokan Breadbasket Konky-Smack!” In either case, regard and dig what Life Magazine purveys …

And the people say: !@#$%&.

(Well meaning and grateful takeout slide: BBTF)


Turn on Your Heartlight: Rockies to Promote Blackmon

Word from the internet this afternoon suggests that the Colorado Rockies could very well promote Charlie Blackmon from Triple-A Colorado Springs, where he’s currently doing unspeakable things to Triple-A pitchers.

Blackmon, as the bespectacled reader is undoubtedly aware, was the captain of this year’s iteration of Team Joy Squad — an exercise in what is referred to by young men as “rosterbation” but what is referred to as “Ecstatic Truth Roster Construction” by the Puritan-rich sons of New England.

In any case, America, turn on your frigging heartlight, okay. Neil Diamond says so.

H/T: Like three people.


Shorter Baseball Columnists!

It’s time for another installment of “Shorter Baseball Columnists,” in which we read mainstream baseball columnists and marginalized bloggers like Murray Chass so you don’t have to! Let us begin!

Mike Lupica: I’m not sure if you realize this, but the Mets haven’t always been terrible.

Filip Bondy: I’m not sure if you realize this, but David Wright has an injured back.

Nick Cafardo: I got some sources on the horn and talked to them about passion.

Bruce Jenkins: Buster Posey made the Royals lose.

Jon Heyman: There’s a Moneyball movie coming out, which makes me wonder what Billy Beane will do about Bob Geren.

Paul Daugherty: I have a number of suggestions, most not very serious, that should help the Reds’ pitchers throw more strikes.

Dayn Perry: You might find this hard to believe, but sometimes roster decisions don’t entirely work out.

The “Shorter” approach to Internetty commentary traces back, as best as one can tell, to Daniel Davies.


MLB.com Deploys The Ultipun

R.A. Dickey pitched a fantastic game against the Braves on Sunday night, leading the Mets to a 6-4 victory with eight solid innings. Doing as they tend to do, MLB.com went the puntastic route with their game wrap headline. But this was no ordinary pun. No, this was the ultipun. Those with weak constitutions probably shouldn’t continue with this post.

(Click to embiggen)

Clearly, no explanation is necessary here. The result is pure devastation, to which Dickey’s growling mug only adds. Hide the women and children, folks, the ultipun is afoot.


Seattle Mariners Commercials: Funny

The Seattle Mariners have had, what poets have deigned, a “turd-tastic” decade. This however, has not stopped them from having fun. Behold! The great Seattle Mariners Commercials!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf_HoE-mRoQ
Read the rest of this entry »


Alphabetism in Baseball

You may already be aware of this, dear reader, but alphabet discrimination exists.  People with surnames near the beginning of the alphabet own a slight but noticeable advantage over their late-alphabet colleagues.  They appear earlier in directories, leading to more phone calls.  They receive more applause at awards ceremonies and graduations, because people tend to get tired of clapping by the time the T’s roll around.  They even are more likely to receive tenure and Nobel Prizes, according to a study by Liran Einav and Leeat Yariv, because authors of collaborated work in certain fields tend to be recognized in alphabetical order.

The alphabet is important in baseball, too.  David Aardsma, despite the success he’s found in an eight-year career, is still best known for supplanting Hank Aaron as the first player listed in the alphabetical list of players.  This fact is the second sentence in his Wikipedia article. People are still upset by this.

But is there alphabet discrimination in baseball?  I collected the performances of every hitter in baseball history (this is an activity which sounds far more impressive than it actually is), organized them by surname, and averaged them by their hitting ability, as represented by FanGraph’s own fRC+.  The stunning and aesthetically pleasing result:

(Note: Each player’s career wRC+ is counted once, no matter how many seasons they played.  Since a superior player is more likely to last multiple seasons than an inferior player, the graph doesn’t average out at 100 even if the average player does.)

From this beautiful and concise graph we can draw several conclusions:

  • The next player whose last name starts with X will be the greatest player whose last name starts with X… of all time.
  • Having a last name beginning with a Q is the kiss of death.  In fact, the letter Q owes its recent success to the performance of Carlos Quentin; without him, the average wRC+ would be 76.
  • Other than that, not much.

But why stop there?  Why not examine hitting ability based on something even more arbitrary, such as the length of a player’s last name?

Bringing up the rear there is America’s favorite Saltalamacchia, proud owner of a career .699 OPS.  But what’s surprising is the statistical significance of the data.  For you kids at home with the graphing calculators, the data sports a r-squared of .69, and it jumps to .78 if we boot out a certain busted catching prospect.

The causes of this, if any, lie in obscurity.  Perhaps players lose confidence when the PA announcer botches their name at home games; perhaps scouts are more likely to remember short names when scanning for talent.  Who can say?  The world is full of biases, swirling and eddying around us all.


Hot GIF: J.J. Putz Pranks Joe Saunders

This GIF — from the bottom of the first inning of Friday night’s contest between Arizona and Washington — depicts reliever J.J. Putz doing to Joe Saunders roughly the same thing that Saunders himself does to the Diamondbacks every time he pitches.


Gerardo Parra: Gun, Cannon, Laser, or Rocket?

The chief surprise for this author — among the so fresh and mostly clean-clean Player NERD leaderboard at the main site, that is — the chief surprise was the presence of Gerardo Parra’s name amongst said leaders. I’ve generally not cared for the light-hitting, kinda anonymous-seeming Parra; however, looking over his fielding numbers, it’s not surprising that his WAR per 650 PAs is so excellent.

Though the sample of 1511.1 innings isn’t entirely reliable, Parra’s posted an excellent 22.5 UZR (18.3 UZR/150) in left field from the beginning of 2009 up till the present — a stupid-high 24.4 of which has come in just the last 934.1 innings, dating back to the beginning of 2010.

The numbers suggest that it’s Parra’s range which translates most directly into runs, although these two plays from just the last week or so (along with his Fan Scouting Report from last season) reveal that Parra also has a powerful and accurate arm.

The real question, of course, is whether one ought to refer to same as a Gun, Cannon, Laser, or Rocket.

From May 25th, against the Rockies:

From May 30th, against the Marlins: