Last week, in these very electronic pages, in a post entitled Declarations of Loyalties and Disloyalties, the legendary Dayn Perry, among other questions, asked:

In your dreams, what position do you play?

Center field, yo. There’s no doubt.

Growing up, I was a portly young lad. As much as I wanted to play second base, and emulate my idol Roberto Alomar, I didn’t have the speed, or the range. And probably not the arm. I wouldn’t know; I never got to the ball. In the brief time I spent wheezing around the middle infield, my UZR was Jeter-esque. It wasn’t long before I found myself behind the plate and, finally, at first base.

Years later, having shed the excess poundage, I’m a beer league center fielder. I’m the captain of the outfield. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Is there a better view? The catcher’s, maybe. But that’s hell on your knees.

I live for the chase. That moment the baseball meets the bat; when the ball is launched into the air, and the center fielder is pressed into duty. There’s nothing quite like getting the perfect read on the ball, and making a catch in stride, at full speed. There’s nothing quite like making that split-second decision to dive, to get your uniform duty, and nothing quite like sliding on fresh grass, the baseball in your glove, another out made.

Watch, from the corner of your eye, a baserunner head back to third base on a fly ball to center field, readying to tag up. Beg him to test your arm. Make the perfect throw.

Climb a fence and bring back a baseball destined to leave the yard. Meet, in mid-air, for one fleeting moment, the Baseball Gods. It’s the height of defensive baseball consciousness.

Center field. It’s where I want to be, and want to remain. There’s no better position.

Image, of undoubtedly a future center fielder, courtesy Erica McDonald.

Readers of FanGraphs will likely have seen either the handle vivaelpujols or the name Nick Steiner or both around these saber internets. Steiner has contributed/still contributes to The Hardball Times and Viva El Birdos and has been generally involved in the sabermetric community.

This past Tuesday, he started a Twitter account. To say that his submissions have been of the single-minded variety would be an understatement.

For example, consider this tweet:

That’s a pretty reasonable debut — informative, baseball-related — except for here’s his second and third tweets, as well:

Huh.

Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes, even the loquacious NotGraphs staff is rendered speechless. Sometimes, a writer so thoroughly destroys an idea that there’s little to add. Sometimes, we can just stand back and golf clap for a well-executed and funny idea.

That, my friends, is the case with SBN editor Jon Bois’ latest piece about the best names in baseball history. Not only did he find such greats as the pictured Cannonball Titcomb (the most famous of the Titcombs), but he added such gems as the following conversation in the Balfour family:

MRS. BALFOUR. What should we encourage him to be when he grows up?
MR. BALFOUR. A pitcher.
MRS. BALFOUR. A major league pitcher? Do you know how astronomically unlikely that is?
MR. BALFOUR. We must find a way.
MRS. BALFOUR. Okay, well, what should we name him?
MR. BALFOUR. Grant. Grant Balfour.
MRS. BALFOUR. Hmm, that’s a nice… wait. That would be a terrible name for a pitcher to have! Why do you want to name him that?
MR. BALFOUR. I hate him.
MRS. BALFOUR. How can you hate him? He’s just a newborn baby!
MR. BALFOUR. I hate babies.

Really, is there any way to add to this discussion? Some names fell through the cracks – Tris Speaker is notable, we can wish prospect Ray Liotta had made the majors, and Jimmie Foxx has two X’s, which is two more than I’ve got – but he really hit this one out of the park. So we’ll quit writing now and just bask in the glow. Bravo Mr. Bois, bravo.

This is a video, authored my YouTube user ieeebear, of the last 27 outs recorded by the San Francisco Giants in their World Series-clinching Game Five victory over the Texas Rangers.

Here’s a brief scouting report of same video:

Strengths
• Watching the above, one realizes how infrequently one’s able to watch Major League play of any stripe outside one of the major providers of said content — i.e. MLB.com, ESPN, FOX, or a local sporting network. This is a pleasure in itself.

Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve already laid eyes upon the wonder that was Matt Murton upon a mythical steed, and — as we see above — now the Twins’ Matt Tolbert has joined the fantasy beast-of-burden party.

Questions abound … Is this a Midwest thing? A “guy named Matt” thing? Why do some ballplayers have such a hardwired yearning to ride unicorns/pegasi? After all, these are photos, so we now know that, a, such beasts exist; b, Matts Murton and Tolbert ride them and; c, both seem to favor the dressage style.

Distinctions? While Mr. Murton seems bound by the strictures of gravity, Mr. Tolbert thinks nothing of thundering across the firmament in defiance of all we think we know about science-y science. Sure, you might point out that Mr. Tolbert is atop a winged creature and thus better able to fly. Poppycock! I prefer to think it’s because Mr. Tolbert’s secret nickname is “Mythical Beast Whisperer Jesus” and that everything flows from there.

I can’t say whether Matt Tolbert’s prevailing goal in this life is to be photographed atop and in manly, sinewy command of every varmint found in the Monster Manual, but I can say it should be.

(Curtsy: Pretty darn sure this image originally appeared at That’s Twins Baseball.)

I get asked all the time — via email, phone, mysterious scented letter — I get asked, “Carson, what does it take to become part of FanGraphs?”

“Generally excellent prose” and “comfort with advanced metrics” are two obvious answers to that question. “The ability to pwn SQL at will” is a third.

What you might not anticipate, however, is the serious physical demands one must meet in order to be considered for Team FanGraphs.

To give prospective writers an idea of what I mean, I’ve embedded here an actual video of San Diego Padre Will Venable’s actual tryout for FanGraphs.

To qualify for consideration, candidates must complete this course in under a minute. That a professional athlete is elated by a time of 1 minute and 2 seconds gives you an idea of how rigorous it all really is.

For some perspective, though, consider that Dave Allen finished this entire challenge in just 37 seconds. Albert Lyu, for his part, actually just shot that guy with the stopwatch right in the foot — which gesture we thought displayed the requisite pluck.

So, no, don’t stop believin’ — not you, Will Venable, and not you, cherished reader. Just know, please, that we’re not effing around over here.

H/T: jbox of Gaslamp Ball.

Due to the shockingly low wages here at FanGraphs [Editor’s Note: Jackie is as disgruntled an employee as you’ll find. Don’t believe him!], I often find myself shopping on clearance racks. Every once in a while, my consumer’s eye directs me towards the clearance section on MLB.com, and rarely am I disappointed. Sometimes, it’s just impossible to imagine how these items don’t immediately sell out, but here are four items which have somehow found their way onto the virtual clearance rack.

1. Aminco Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim 2010 All-Star Game Disney Pin Set

Disney and the MLB know that cross-branding rules! After all, if you’re a big fan of both Mickey Mouse AND the 2010 All-Star Game, how could you resist dropping 40 dollars on this limited edition set? Well, now that the MLB store generously dropped $8.02 off the price, I’m sure it’ll sell like hotcakes.

2. Mascotopia Oakland Athletics Mascot Puzzle

I get that this for really young children, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a nine piece jigsaw puzzle before. Almost the entire mascot is on the center piece! I would think that if a child has sufficient motor skills to even put a puzzle together, they would be able to finish this is roughly two seconds. Obviously, then, at the previous price – $14.99, or $1.67 per piece – this product was a total rip off. However, at $1.11 per piece, it’s a steal!

3. New York Mets Men’s Reactive Robe by Concepts Sport

What better way to show off your fandom than with a bathrobe? Wear it in the bathroom, in the hallway, and in the bedroom! Amaze your roommates, significant others, and/or kids! Now $20.02 cheaper, it can be yours for only $49.97!

4. Fantasia Philadelphia Phillies Tool Bag

Although it’s understandable, the name of this product shouldn’t be confused with that of many Phillies fans. For said fans, this could be a very useful gameday item. It’s the perfect carrier for blunt objects that can be thrown at outfielders from the bleacher seats!

Between these four and other items, I’ll be shocked if people can’t make full use of MLB.com’s current offer: take $10.00 off any clearance order of $50.00 or more. With such high quality and practical items on sale, products will be flying off the shelves.

Not just pizza. “Apizza.”

Be honest — you probably don’t think of Seattle sports fans as “fortunate human beings.” Well, maybe that changes today, when you learn about the revamped food offerings at Safeco Field.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you’ve never read the collected works of Great American™ Ralph Waldo Emerson — and, in particular, his essays “Self-Reliance” and “The Divinity School Address” — you should probably do that before you shuffle off this mortal coil.

However, if you’re busy for the minute, you can find much of Emerson’s thought condensed into this very brief quote from Manny Ramirez:

I’m just here to play the game and enjoy it… [I enjoy] my life. All the things that I do I enjoy. I’m not here to talk to [the media]. I’m here to play the game. That’s me, you know. The same. Everywhere I go is the same.

On the one hand, it might be important to note that this was Ramirez’s response when asked, in 2008, about his decision to sell a grill on eBay — itself a curious thing for a generational talent to be doing.

On the other hand, it’s also noteworthy that the above would be a perfectly reasonable answer to the question, “Manny: what, per chance, is your entire life philosophy?”

H/T: Reader T-pain.

Once upon a time, NotGraphs engaged only in the most serious of reportage and most whimsical of inspired flights.

Then Dayn Perry joined our ranks, and — well — I think I’m understating the case when I say that he left a wake of destruction in his, uh, wake.

As that old saying goes, though, “When life hands you lemons, use the zest of those lemons to make a great Moroccan Charbroiled Lamb & Fennel Stew with 7 Seed Couscous.” (Seriously.) Which is why I feel only modest chagrin when I announce to the bespectacled readership that, apparently, Boston Righty and Inveterate Texaner Josh Beckett has married, very literally, a rocket scientist.

I say “literally,” but I’ll admit that she’s officially described as an “aeronautics engineer,” and I don’t understand the difference, and the Boston Herald’s socialite pages describe her (i.e. Holly Fisher) as a “rocket scientist,” and those are definitely right.