What The Heck Is This?!

I know. I know. It’s confusing. Just stay with me. What you see on your computer screen is known as a “Lubie.” Which, apparently, means this:

o MLB Lubies are a break-through line of plush combining clean, charming designs with the irresistible, playable shape of a ball.
o Lubies are insanely cute, adorable softball size, super soft material, for ages 0+ and pure simple fun.

And of course the litany of information doesn’t end there. MLB inquires; did you ALSO know?

* Lubies are pronounced “LUH-BEES”
* Lubies are rated for ages 0+
* Lubies are safety tested and lead free
* Lubies are made from all new material and filled with polyester fiber; surface clean only
* Lubies are roughly the size of a softball, measuring 5″ in diameter
* Lubies come with a little “Did You Know” fact
* Lubies can double as safe, soft and squeezable plush balls – fun for tossing

And of course, the least surprising thing to ever happen ever:

Country Of Origin : China

To be fair to MLB and Lubies and whoever else is responsible for whatever… that… is, the White Sox Lubie shown above is the most disturbingly depressed looking of the entire collection. Most of them look downright happy or even friendly. Which, now that I think of it, might actually be scarier. But nothing is scarier than the fact that this is an Actual Thing, the horror of which words can hardly describe.