Von Hayes Is Concerned, Unibrowed
Survey this daguerreotype of Von Hayes, and you may be tempted to focus solely on the tenuous unibrow that introduces him to the world as a cocksman of distinction. But peer more deeply, and you’ll see a countenance riddled with mounting horror …
What is it just off-stage that troubles him so? A baleful incubus plucked from a Goya painting? The dark ways of Ron Hassey? The approaching hoof-beats of the decisive yet still fraught Cold War endgame?
Afflict Von Hayes no more, you sickening menace!
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Von Hayes is the Buster Keaton of baseball.
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My guesses: Hayes has either just finished watching On Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, or he is watching Joe Charboneau and reflecting on the fleeting nature of success.