Video: Brent Morel Hits Seven Homers
With his home run last night, Chicago (AL) third baseman Brent Morel now has seven of those things (i.e. home runs) in the month of September, placing him third in that respect behind only Ian Kinsler (9) and Adrian Beltre (8) — i.e. players who’ve established a track record of doing such a thing.
The present author has already written a brief love letter to Morel’s recent performance at FanGraphs’ main page, but has left some things unsaid that can only really be understood by bearing witness — awe-filled, pants-offed witness.
To that end, I’ve embedded below — and attached the most hilarious commentary you can imagine to — all of Morel’s September home runs, beginning with this one:
9/3: Off Brad Penny. In which Tiger fans are not happy, having just realized — one assumes — that they live in Michigan.
9/8 (1): Off David Huff. In which a pair of Chicagoans get to first base even as Brent Morel rounds them all.
9/8 (2): Off Frank Herrmann. In which the Hawk seems curiously preoccupied.
9/12 (1): Off Rick Porcello. In which Morel goes very much to center field.
9/12 (2): Off David Pauley. In which Morel continues his relationship with center field.
9/16: Off Little Tim Collins. In which the Hawk uses the imperative mood furiously.
Last Night: Off Chad Durbin. In which the reader probably has to utilize a hyperlink.
Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.
The Hawk is terrible! That has to be the worst home run call in baseball.
That’s not even close to the right starting point for complaints about Hawk. His home run call is one of the least annoying and most sensible phrases he uses during the course of a game.
In trying to describe the awfulness of Hawk, a man can do naught but stare at the list of complaints he has just made only to realize there is no point in conveying the awfulness of Hawk through language or through graphs or through any other means of communication available to said man.
What @steex said.
Cistulli has admiited previously that he only promotes Hawk to worsen my ulcer.