Video: I’m Not a Player (I Just Plush a Lot)

As America’s Kid Brother Jackie Moore brought to our attention yesterday in a piece on the latter’s (unwitting) walk-off double, Nyjer Morgan is the sort of man prone to losing his mind.

Some due diligence courtesy of our Investigative Reporting Investigation Team reveals another curiosity from the giant, hypothetical file folder marked “All Things Nyjer Morgan” — namely, some kind of excerpt from a real or not real music video featuring Tony Plush himself.

Regard:

Your eyes do not deceive you, reader: that’s footage of Morgan doing the robot while wearing a silver Elvis wig, set to a song that sounds a lot like “I’m Not a Player” by deceased rapper Big Pun — except for, instead of Big Pun, it’s actually Nyjer Morgan revealing the truth about his nom de champ.

There are answers to the questions you’re asking, reader. Assuredly. Whether they exist in this, or an alternate, reality is a thing we can’t say with any certainty, however.