Two Low-Quality GIFs That I Made Like a Big Boy
I spent this morning learning how to make GIFs, which officially ushers in the decay phase of my writing career.
In this GIF–which I alone brought into existence–Ben Revere makes an athletic dive but just misses the ball:
And here, in this GIF that I made by the singular strength of my will, Phillies prospect Mario Hollands makes a routine infield fly look harder than finishing Infinite Jest:
The proximity in time (back-to-back) of these two plays(depicted by hand-hewn GIFs) leads one to wonder what lesson lies behind these normally irrelevant spring training events. The lesson, if there is one, may be best described by the also normally irrelevant Yorman Bazardo, who observed*, “No matter how hard you try, someone else will succeed where you failed–someone with far less talent and poise.”
*Note: Did not actually say/observe this.
Zach is an egregious malcontent whose life goal is to literally become the London Tube.
Ben Revere looks positively ripped in that first GIF, like a cross between Bo Jackson and Mike Trout.
Congratulations.
He’s probably in the best shape of his life…
Yasiel don’t take kindly to comparisons that involve someone else being like Bo Jackson.