True Facts: MLB Announces 2014 Regular Season Schedule

by
September 10, 2013

Schenectady 2

Major League Baseball announced today its regular season schedule for 2014, which begins at the end of March.

Below are some notable aspects of same.

• Season begins with 2014 Opening Series in Australia between whatever members of D-backs and Dodgers have not been maimed and injured by that country’s menacing wildlife.

• To complement Sunday Night Baseball, ESPN introduces Tuesday Dawn Baseball. Huge ratings victory expected.

• Starting May 14th, Ninja BlackSox begin appearing on schedule for duration of season.

• Only, like, 17 or 11 home games scheduled for Marlins.

• Experimental “three-way game” scheduled for June 27th, featuring Red Sox, Yankees, and Mets. Precise rules TBD.

• Kenesaw Mountain Landis Memorial Day scheduled for August 3rd to remember victims of late, merciless commissioner.

• Interleague play expanded to include Greater Schenectady Little League.





 

Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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KB
10 years ago

My two brothers and I really did play three-way games of wiffle ball. There were three sides to the inning. Two “teams” together fielded against the hitting “team”, taking turns pitching. Not sure how well this will translate into major league baseball, but like our wiffle ball games, a few brawls are expected.

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