Totally Real Prom Photo: Mary J. Blige and World Series Trophy

People in this world will argue that American singer-songwriter Mary J. Blige never attended the prom with the World Series trophy. They’ll suggest that while, yes, Blige did recently pose with said trophy ahead of performing the national anthem before Wednesday’s Game One, that she never put on her favorite purple top and got balls-to-the-wall pretty after consenting to attend her real high-school prom with an inanimate object as a 42-year-old woman for some reason.
One has no time for these agnostic sorts, however. As has been constantly borne out by events both current and historical, this is the best of all possible worlds. In the best of all possible worlds, Mary J. Blige has attended — has enjoyed attending — her prom with the World Series trophy as a strong, beautiful 42-year-old woman, amen.
Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.
Olan Mills called. They want their background back.