Today’s Glimpse into the Horrible: Eddie Gaedel’s Death

Click to embiggen, something Gaedel himself never could do.

Basically all the big philosophers advocate on behalf of a perpetual contemplation of death. “One can’t truly live,” goes the reasoning, “until that same one accepts his mortality as fact.” A reasonable point, that, probably.

Today’s brief recognition of the Ultimate Darkness is facilitated by some trifling internet surfing by the author — which surfing led both to Eddie Gaedel’s Wikipedia page and also obituary. Capital-T Truth has revealed that, while generally remembered as a willing participant in one of Bill Veeck’s many amusing promotional ventures, Gaedel was actually afflicted considerably by life’s afflictions.

Consider, by way of example, this Wikipedia excerpt regarding his death:

On June 18, 1961, the unemployed Gaedel, who had just turned 36, was at a bowling alley in Chicago, his birthplace and hometown. Gaedel was followed home and beaten (he might have been mugged as well). His mother discovered Eddie lying dead in his bed. He had bruises about his knees and on the left side of his face. A coroner’s inquest determined that he also had a heart attack. Bob Cain, saying he felt obligated, was the only person from Major League Baseball to attend the funeral.

Consider, by way of second example, the haunting and stark sonority of the headline “Baseball Midget Dead” in the obituary embedded above.

Finally, consider the facts of reality. Also consider weeping, probably, too.

Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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8 years ago

Shhh, i’m not dead