Tiny Ben Revere

Tiny Ben Revere would like you to take the picture now. There is a chest of Ninja Turtles back home that needs playing with. Michelangelo is his favorite, of course. What a silly question.

When adults ask Tiny Ben Revere what his favorite subject in school is, his responses include running, running fast, sprinting, jumping, and science. And recess.

Oh these books here? These are just for show. Tiny Ben Revere reads chapter books. Big boy stuff. These books are for little kids. He did bring this ladder from home, however.

Tiny Ben Revere rolls down his right sock only, just like his friend Joe taught him. The girls like it, not that he cares. He’s had a long-standing, well-publicized stance on the current cootie situation. Sometimes one needs to take a stand, and Tiny Ben Revere is no different. He puts his blue shorts on just like everyone else — lying on a bed with both legs sticking straight up in the air.

What’s that? Oh, astronaut. Yes, Tiny Ben Revere will grow up to be an astronaut. All his friends want to be cowboys, but Tiny Ben Revere realizes that the market for cowboys will have dried up by then. Don’t let this shirt full of handprints fool you. Tiny Ben Revere has business savvy.

Tiny Ben Revere doesn’t need to smile for the camera. This is just how his face looks.

(h/t to Internet superstar Aaron Gleeman)