Three Syllogisms Concerning Yoenis Cespedes

Since the beginning of time, man has desired to read syllogisms concerning Cuban outfielder Yoenis Cespedes. As for woman, she hasn’t desired it for nearly as long — but at least since the 80s, probably.

Today, for the first time, both genders find themselves entirely satisfied, as NotGraphs presents, apropos of nothing…

Three Syllogisms Concerning Yoenis Cespedes

Syllogism No. 1

Yoenis Cespedes eats hanging sliders for breakfast.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Hanging sliders are the most important meal of the day for Yoenis Cespedes.

Cuba is 96% literate.
Yoenis Cespedes is Cuban.
Yoenis Cespedes is 96% literate.

Theodore Roosevelt walked softly and carried a big stick.
Yoenis Cespedes has similar interests.
Men who have similar interests become friends.
Theodore Roosevelt and Yoenis Cespedes become friends.