The ZOMG Files: Fat Sox

As you may have heard, certain sinister Boston layabouts spent much of the 2011 season acting like doobage enthusiasts sans doobage. Well, America’s Worst Sports Section^TM is back on the case like a maggot on a leach on a lamprey, and they have a gallery that invites you to decide, with gentle nudging from America’s Worst Sports Section^TM, whether certain key members of the Red Sox got fat as the season deepened and the KFC boxes and cans emptied of shitty beer mounted. Here’s one representative photo of the previously un-indicted Clay Buchholz:

If you’re like me, then so moved were you by the implications of the photo above that you began scampering around on all fours, rooting at the floors, sprouting cloven hooves, and making your finest and most bellowing hog-to-the-slaughter noises. Look, will you, at that indolent sworper of a man in the second photo! The Caligulan excesses! The betrayal of The Nation! Fack!

By all means, peruse the entire gallery. It’s striking how lighting and angles can reveal before God and all The Fat and The Lazy.

So shape up, Sox, or that guy in Globe mail room who knows Photoshop will give you all piggy snouts.

(A piece of fried chicken shared like the strand of pasta in “Lady and the Tramp”: HBT)