The New, New, New, New, New Market Inefficiency

With the recent news that the Boston Red Sox — owners of one of baseball’s more progressive front offices — have signed 17-year-old Kiwi softball-ist Te Wara Bishop, one is forced to wonder: What other inefficiencies might clubs attempt to exploit in their efforts to evaluate, acquire, and develop talent?

Here are some possible avenues for consideration from NotGraphs’ Highly Reputable and Totally Real Think Tank:

1. Elderly People and/or Babies
Sabermetric researchers have become increasingly interested in identifying the peak years for offensive production and, more broadly, the relationship between aging and performance in general. But the problem is that these studies are typically limited to players aged 20 to 40 or so (as the image above indicates). Hel-lo! There are, like, a whole bunch of different ages besides those! Like 57, for example. Or 9, or 81. And that’s just off the top of my head.

2. Not Wearing Pants
Color commentators take pains to note the degree to which a base-stealing threat, when on first, can distract a pitcher from the task at hand — that is, making quality pitches to the batter. What’d probably distract the pitcher way more, though, is if the batter in question just wasn’t wearing any pants — had nothing, in fact, on the entire bottom half of his body. Who has the dangle now, hm, Tim McCarver?!?

3. Hotter and More Bumpin’ Walk-Up Music
Cameron Maybin is a legitimate five-tool player and former 10th-overall pick in the draft, but has posted a slash-line of just .246/.313/.380 (86 wRC+) in 610 major-league plate appearances. The reason? Possibly it’s the case that Maybin just hasn’t, and/or won’t ever, adjust to major-league pitching. More likely, though, is that his walk-up music is “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus. Hopefully, San Diego GM Jed Hoyer has taken steps to change this.

4. Bloodletting
It’s so crazy, it just might work.

5. Carson Cistulli
Not for nothing has Carson Cistulli referred to himself alternately as “the greatest mind of this, and probably every other, generation” and also “a preternaturally talented evaluator of baseball, uh, talent.” Front offices of baseball: what are you waiting for? (Seriously: email me at ccistulli@yahoo.com and prepare to get your blank blanked.)

Image courtesy MGL at THT.