The Blue Jays, Twitter, a Child, and a Trip to Florida
As everyone knows, Tweets — and everything else, really — are better when context is stripped away in the manner of a bodice-ripper’s ripping a bodice. So, without any context whatsoever, here is a rather delightful recent Tweet from James G:
Indeed, who does tell a child something like this? “Do you want to go to the hellscape of America’s Worst StateTM, young, beggared spawn? Perhaps to the bloodless, soul-murdering infinitude of Orlando-based theme parks? Lovely. We’ll go once you get a got-damn retweet or reply from, let’s say, the makers of Jimmy Dean processed meats. No, wait!: The Toronto Blue Jays Baseball Club. Yes, the Blue Jays. Fair enough, jackass?”
So, much like tertiary syphilis needs a chancre, I need your wisdom. Tell me: What kind of a person tells his or her child such a thing?
Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.
The perfectly reasonable and level-headed kind, of course. Or the kind who doesn’t really want to pay for an effing trip to GD Florida.