Terrible Kickstarter Ideas: Athletes to Apples

If you’re an American resident between the ages of 18-49, it’s statistically probable that you’ve played Apples to Apples, the perfect board game for every unambitious party or evening with extended family members.

It’s somewhat less likely that you have played its evil twin, Cards Against Humanity, which replaces the amiable fun of the original with blasphemy and gall. Cards Against Humanity is a visceral experience, the board game equivalent of a Jackass movie. It should, in the author’s opinion, be experienced at least once, regardless of the reader’s personal idiosyncrasies and hang-ups.

Cards Against Humanity began as a humble Kickstarter project fashioned by a core group of a dozen high school alumni, and funded by a hungry Internet.

But said Internet is never satisfied; it demands more. For this reason I present to you my own shameless rip-off, foolishly spilled out into the public domain for anonymous plagiarism: Athletes to Apples.

The rules are similar to Apples to Apples: one player, the “judge”, flips over a card with the name of a baseball player. The rest of the table looks through their own cards, which contain adjectives, quotations, and pejoratives, to select the one they believe the judge will select via free association. Whoever picks the best card gets a point. Continue playing until about fifteen minutes after you are completely sick of the game, or until the alcohol has rendered you unconscious.

(The exception to this operating procedure is when a judge flips over the “Boog Powell” card, wherein he or she immediately and silently rises, flips over the table, takes all the beer out of the host’s fridge, and leaves.)

You too can make your own cards on Cards Against Humanity’s website, thanks to the Creative Commons License. Do so, and share them! Improve society!