Take a Break from Twitter Tonight
Something is going to happen tonight. This something will make you want to voice an opinion. Many of you will want to voice said opinion on Twitter. Don’t. It’s not worth it. It will not change the outcome, nor will your quip lead to you being recognized as a cultural luminary or sports-critic extraordinaire.
May I suggest some alternative activities for spending your evening? Oh, I shall.
1. Take a nap. I realize that a nap that late in the day may just lead to extended sleep, but who cares? Sleeping is awesome.
2. Go to Macy’s and get that v-neck sweater you’ve been eyeing. Come on, you know it fits great and that color will really go with those olive green slacks you’ve been waiting to debut. YOLO.
3. When’s the last time you really read Family Circus? They’re touching on important issues over there. Doin’ God’s work.
4. I have it on good authority that baseball writer/National Treasure/degenerate Aaron Gleeman will be on a FanGraphs Audio episode that will drop today. It’s a way to kill time, at least.
5. The way this country’s going in the toilet, you better start learning some Chinese, amirite?
David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.
I am planning on going to a local public house with a pretentious name and sampling such fine liquids as the very local Peticolas Velvet Hammer, the also very local Deep Ellum IPA, and the perennially divine (& providentially on tap!) St Bernardus Abt 12.
I shall be doing said things in the presence of an Astros fan, who for that reason may have cause to drink heavily as well.
URGENT URGENT ALL POINTS BULLETIN
GET YOUR HANDS ON STONE COLLABORATIONS MINT CHOCOLATE IMPERIAL STOUT IT IS DELICIOUS. SMELL BEFORE DRINKING
Thank you, Well-Beered Englishman. Your ALL CAPS announcement tells me you were enjoying your evening, despite sharing it with a lowly Astros fan.
*a lovely Astros fan she is. ‘Twas a good night.
I simply must acquire this beverage. I tried to make a mint Belgian Tripel once, but failed to properly sanitize said mint and instead brewed very brown, vaguely minty vinegar.