Suitcase Injuries of the Past and Present

Jonathan Lucroy was placed on the DL this weekend after a suitcase fell on his hand.

Lucroy told Adam McCalvy of that he was “reaching under his hotel bed Sunday night for a lost sock when his wife shifted a suitcase, which fell on Lucroy’s hand.”

According to Tom Haudricourt of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, X-rays revealed Lucroy had suffered a broken hand and will miss four to six weeks.

His injury, of course, brings to mind a number of suitcase injuries of the past:

1934. Hal Trosky misses 16 games when his finger suffers a laceration after being caught in the zipper of his travel bag. Funny thing is, his travel bag didn’t even have a zipper.

1947. Tommy Henrich loses an entire season when he falls into his brand new “automatic suitcase,” causing it to close around him. Trapped in the bag, he is placed in the cargo area of the team’s airplane and suffers a severe case of frostbite during the flight.

1959. Eddie Yost’s career comes to an end after an extraterrestrial emerges from his suitcase and devours him. An investigation determines it wasn’t even his suitcase– it belonged to teammate Harvey Kuenn.

1976. Bobby Grich locks his glove in his suitcase. Unable to find a replacement, he misses three months as locksmiths work feverishly to free it.

1989. Nick Esasky, while trying to stuff a dead body into his suitcase, bruises his tailbone and misses the entire month of August.

1998. Mark McLemore, having misplaced his glasses, mistakes his suitcase for a large lamb chop and attempts to eat it. He chokes, and is forced to miss two weeks recuperating.

2009. Willie Bloomquist hides in Billy Butler’s suitcase for the entire season, enabling him to claim to be on the Royals’ roster without ever appearing in a game.

And that’s just the American League.

Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Patrick Dubuque

The sad thing about Eddie Yost’s demise is that he had a baseball bat with which to defend himself at the time; he just refused to swing.