Spring Training Questions
1. Who will be the starting leftfielder for the Tigers?
2. Were there always three outfielders?
3. Who decided that the Tigers should be named the Tigers?
4. Did Tigers roam the streets of Detroit in the late 19th century?
5. Do Tigers roam the streets of Detroit now?
6. Is that why no one lives in Detroit?
7. Do any of the Tigers players actually live in Detroit?
8. There’s a Broadway musical with a character named Nathan Detroit, right?
9. Is there a reason I know that?
10. Have any Tigers players seen any Broadway musicals?
11. Why is Brennan Boesch’s name so hard to spell?
12. In fact, with Jhonny Peralta, Quintin Berry, Brayan Villarreal, Drew Smyly, and Al Albuwhatever are the Tigers collectively the hardest-to-spell team in the majors?
13. Has anyone measured that?
14. Is Al Alburquerque the only major leaguer whose last name is also a major city?
15. No, even the Tigers have at least one more in Ramon Santiago, so that’s a stupid question, no?
16. And there’s always at least a couple of players named Washington, I guess, right?
17. Plus I’m forgetting about Austin Jackson, yes?
18. Should these even count as questions when some of them are really just statements?
Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.
9. There’s a Simpsons episode in which Broadway and Nathan Detroit are mentioned.