Spotted Tonight Alot: Umpire Tom Hallion’s Strikeout Call

The Columbia Guide to Standard American English continues to regard — or regarded in 1993, at least — the word alot as a “substandard” form of the adverbial construction a lot. The author has utilized it in the title of this post, however, as an important reminder that nearly everything in life is substandard. Like the chair, for example, in which the author is presently sitting. And like this body, for example, in which the author is trapped for life.

In nearly related news, 56-year-old umpire Tom Hallion has performed his physically demanding, if not somewhat amusing, strikeout call 24 alot of* times tonight during the Rays-Red Sox game (box) as of press time — in which “press time” is defined as the top of the 14th inning with David Ortiz getting intentionally walked.

*According to malcontent/reader Josh (below), Hallion only performs the call depicted here for called third strikes.