Spotted: Soup Bones, Sans Dayn Perry
“Whither Dayn Perry?” America asks in unison.
Listeners of FanGraphs Audio will know — and not-listeners of FanGraphs Audio will be dressed down verbally beside all America’s office water coolers for not knowing — that frequent guest and 24-hour patriot Dayn Perry has made a habit, on that program, of referring to his fighting fists as “soup bones.” Among those upon whom Perry has threatened violence by way of soup bone are right-handed pitcher Roy Oswalt, FanGraphs writer Jeff Sullivan, and (if the author is remembering correctly) “all cowards.”
What concerned reader and U.S. ambassador to LOLs Les Carter has found, then, is of some note. In the photo here, submitted by same concerned reader, what we find are soup bones. What we don’t find, however, is Dayn Perry attached to one or the other end of those soup bones.
What we have here, reader, is a plot that’s thickening. At one point, there wasn’t a plot. And then there was a plot, but it was pretty thin by plot-standards. But now that same plot is thickening, like I say. After that, at this rate, it might become turgid. There might be a turgid plot in all out futures, is the point of this post.
Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.
This is a gross miscarriage of truth and righteousness. If I’m to consume a liquid food prepared from vegetable stock combined with various other ingredients and often containing solid pieces, those solid pieces should very well be the oiled and thunderous fists of one Dayn Perry, and not some wimpy ass frozen and preserved fragment of spoiled animal carcass. Where the hell are we, Russia?