Shorter Baseball Columnists!

It’s time for another installment of “Shorter Baseball Columnists,” in which we read mainstream baseball columnists and marginalized bloggers like Murray Chass so you don’t have to! Let us begin!

Shorter Fay Vincent: I noticed an awkwardly worded sentence in the Times. Sportswriting is dead.

Shorter Dan Shaughnessy: A very wealthy guy showed up at a Sox game.

Shorter T.J. Simers: Don Mattingly and James Loney have a positive outlook on things. I don’t like that at all.

Shorter Kevin Kernan: Regarding the Yankees, it’s quite possibly time to start panicking.

Shorter Jim Souhan: It’s too bad the Twins have money.

Shorter Murray Chass: I like bunts.

The “Shorter” approach to Internetty commentary traces back, as best as one can tell, to Daniel Davies.