Shana Tova, Sam Fuld
Happy New Year to Craig Breslow, Ike Davis, Scott Feldman, Nate Freiman, Sam Fuld, Ryan Kalish, Ian Kinsler, Ryan Lavarnway, Jason Marquis, Kevin Pillar, Josh Satin, Danny Valencia, Kevin Youkilis, Josh Zeid, and, of course, that shining example to all young Jews, Ryan Braun. Apologies to anyone the Internet isn’t telling me is Jewish.
Throwing all of those players into a custom team here at FanGraphs, I can calculate that the Jews have earned a total of 6.4 WAR this season, only 1.0 from pitching (due largely to Jason Marquis…). Scott Feldman, with 2.1 pitching WAR and 0.1 batting WAR, is the Jewish MVP thus far this season, with Ian Kinsler (1.9 WAR) a reasonably close second.
May the fantasy teams of all Jews reading this score 5,774 points tonight, and may at least one major league team serve brisket in their post-game spread.
Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.
Never forget Catholic Jew, Jason Kipnis!