Seven Similes Regarding Sonny Gray’s Curveball
In the absence of video evidence like that above, the reader might find some difficulty in articulating to another party the experience of young Oakland right-hander Sonny Gray’s excellent curveball, a pitch that appears to have been worth more than five runs above average so far per every hundred thrown.
What follows are seven similes that might at least begin to approximate the experience of same.
1. It’s like having an epiphany at Caldor’s.
2. It’s like a meadowlark that’s real aggressive in business.
3. It’s like Werner Herzog’s description of conquest, probably.
4. It’s like the colostomy bag rated highest by Amazon users.
5. It’s like a period film projected onto Tire Warehouse for everyone.
6. It’s like the song Bon Iver wrote about 6 Dead, 25 More Injured in Blast.
7. It’s like an assassination attempt that went really well.
This post is largely in response to a request made by concerned reader Jacob Indursky for more robust coverage of Sonny Gray’s curveball.
Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.
That looks like a hanging curve ball.
Yeah, that looks like a pretty tasty pitch from the hitter’s perspective. Came in right at the letters.