Romance Tips from Yu Darvish

Yu Darvish, like most Great Men of History, is going through a healthful and replenishing divorce. The soon-to-be discarded is a young thespian named Saeko:

As you can see, Saeko, whose name, one assumes, is a homophone to the brand identity of those stylish and durable wrist timepieces, is rather very lovely and possibly even talented. But loveliness cannot overcome a gentleman’s introduction to the world! As Jeff Passan reminds us, Mr. Darvish, insofar as this relationship is concerned, set the proper tone and established the relevant harbingers back in 2007:

Following a victory last season, Yu Darvish, the winning pitcher for the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters, stood in front of a microphone inside a packed stadium, thanked his teammates and fans for their support, and announced that he had knocked up an actress who he met three months earlier and would marry her to preserve his family’s name.

For too long, we have regarded premarital liturgies as things to woo and reassure. As Mr. Darvish reminds us, they are and should have always been a means to forewarn, harrow and ideally ruin the better, deadlier and more treacherous half.

So, married NotGraphs readers, please go and tell your wives you are leaving forever.

(Shotgun Hat Tip: BTF)