Racing Dick Allen Mascot Shall Save Us

Courtesy of the drop-dead gorgeous Chris Cwik comes this Polaroid snapped on game day deep in the bowels of Modern Telephone Concern Sports Enclosure:

I have taken it upon myself to use Les Couleurs to obscure the faces of the two demonstrably less compelling White Socked base-and-ball-ists in this daguerreotype (is that Stan Damned Bahnsen on the far right?) and will instead allow the reader’s eyes to feast, in Old Country Buffet-fashion, upon Dick Allen and Dick Allen alone.

Are you not uplifted by this? If you are, then please pay it forward on this fine day by vanquishing someone of poor taste and breeding.