Peter Gammons Answers the Most Pressing Questions
Yes
— Peter Gammons (@pgammo) January 2, 2012
I’ve thought long and hard about just which question of mine Peter Gammons answered — with one single, solitary tweet — yesterday afternoon. Turns out, he answered them all:
Will the Toronto Blue Jays ever make the goddamn playoffs again?
Is Prince Fielder actually a real-life vegetarian?
Is the Euro ever going to collapse, or what?
Should you — should we all — pray for the Baltimore Orioles?
Is Roy Halladay a God amongst men?
Are these the best candidates the Republicans could find?
Seriously?
Is Hanley Ramirez sincere in saying he’ll actually move over to third base?
Is Bud Selig pretty please going to finally frigging retire?
Is “Swag” truly the name of Bryce Harper’s new dog?
Now that she ditched that Brand loser, I’ve got a shot with Katy Perry, right?
Will the Expos ever return?
Is everyone else as sick of the Hall of Fame debate as I am?
And, finally, is baseball closer to returning to our lives today than it was yesterday?
I’ll answer that last one myself: God, yes.
Thank you, Professor Gammons. Without you, we are nothing.
Navin Vaswani is a replacement-level writer. Follow him on Twitter.
I cannot tell if these are errors on his part or people hacking his account. Regardless, they are often inspiring and thought provoking.
To answer your question: Yes
Well done sir.
Most of the LOLGammos come “via text,” if you look at the tweets in detail, which leads me to believe that they are sincere mistakes on Gammons’ behalf. Truthfully, I have no idea if he’s trolling us or not, but I love these “mistakes” too much to really give a damn. They’ll always be automatic retweets for me. Viva Twitter. Yes.
Do you think Gammo knows that there’s a whole section of the internet that regularly follows (and meme-izes) his mistweets? I think someone should tell him.