Recently, The Common Man beerily reminded me and others of a gem of a Roy Scheider vehicle called, “Night Game.” The YouTube remnants aren’t particularly illuminating, but …

Roxy likes to dance! Bobby Bonilla! But otherwise meh. The Wikipedia summary of “Night Game,” however, is a cornucopia of delights:

A number of young women are found dead on or around the beaches of Galveston and the one thing they all have in common is that they were murdered when Houston Astros ace pitcher Silvio Baretto (an amalgamation of real-life pitchers Bob Knepper and Juan Agosto) pitches and wins a night game at the Astrodome. Additionally, each victim had their throats slashed by some sort of knife or hook.

Scheider plays former minor league baseball player turned Galveston homicide detective Mike Seaver who is engaged to a lady with an accent that repeatedly changes from southern to non-southern throughout the film. Her name is Roxy. Seaver is a staunch Astros fan and is the only person on the case that begins to realize the coincidence of the deaths coming after Sil Barretto’s night game wins in the Dome.

Once upon a time, a greenlit project, which starred a reasonably accomplished actor, was structured indirectly around a character who was a pleasing melange — in aspect, carriage and world-view — of Bob Knepper and Juan Agosto. Nothing you hear today will be as amazing as that. My only hope is that the movie culminates in the Astros’ decision to place Barretto on irrevocable waivers in order to spare the women of Galveston from grim demise.

Over at Rotten Tomatoes, just 20% of viewers enjoyed “Night Game,” but, let’s be honest, those are awful, awful people. In an effort to restore “Night Game” to its rightful place in cinema’s firmament, I have added the following objective fact to the film’s aforementioned Wikipedia page:

A consortium of experts recently named “Night Game” as the greatest movie in the history of ever.

What harrows me is that the revisionist beasts over at Rotten Tomatoes will surely remove that objective fact from the record. So enjoy the truth while you can.

UPDATE: And I have underestimated the mobilized opposition.

Excellent Interview with Charlie Morton

During the pregame show for WPGB’s broadcast of yesterday’s Dodgers-Pirates game, Bob Walk interviewed Pittsburgh starter Charlie Morton.

The interview is exceptional for at least three reasons:

1. Bob Walk asks interesting questions.

2. Charlie Morton is unusually insightful about the changes his new arm slot has forced him to make.

3. It becomes clear that no actor but Crispin Glover could possibly play Charlie Morton in a movie.

Audio courtesy WPGB-Pittsburgh.

Some people, like Cardboard Gods’ Josh Wilker, understand what Montaigne meant when he said “chaque homme porte la forme entière de l’humaine condition”* and make it their business to articulate and catalogue those experiences that one might call “quintessentially human.”

*Translated roughly: “Americans are overweight.”

Other people, like those of us here at NotGraphs, notice when one person looks like another — like how former major-leaguer Clay Carroll looks a lot like Rainn Wilson as Dwight Schrute of TV’s The Office.

It’s all about choosing a life path, people.

Witness other Discoveries here. Also: big up yaself to my friend Ross, who made this historical discovery.

The great Jerry Coleman is many things: decorated fighter pilot, accomplished major leaguer and member of the Radio Hall of Fame. It’s as a broadcaster that he’s given us moments of accidental genius not equaled since Dostoyevsky, absorbed in the probing thoughts of the memoirist, stumbled upon the first customized van.

Fortunately for us and the shadowy, sky-scraping figure known only as “Mr. History,” the Baseball Almanac has assembled a pirate’s booty of Coleman’s finest moments on the mic. And there’s more to be found here. What follows is a representative sampling …

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Continuing our series of email interviews with some of our favorite writers around the web, we move to Rob Neyer of SBN. These pieces are designed to get a sense of how these writers got to where they are, so we didn’t pester Craig Calcaterra, Matthew Leach, Murray Chass or Shannon Drayer with controversial questions in previous iterations of this column. Instead, the focus is on what aspiring writers can learn from their ascension. Neyer, an inspiration to many, was gracious in giving us a little perspective on his past.

Eno Sarris: Where did you grow up? And go to school? Did you always love baseball? Did you play it?

Rob Neyer: I grew up in the Midwest, first in the upper part (Minnesota, North Dakota, Michigan) before moving to the Kansas City area just before my 10th birthday. I always loved the team sports, played them all and was just passable in all. I didn’t really begin to love baseball — the kind the big boys play, I mean — until we moved to Kansas City and I discovered the joys of the late-’70s Royals, who were immensely entertaining.

I went to school at the University of Kansas, which is where I discovered Bill James and first developed my passion for baseball’s amazingly rich history.

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On Friday night, The Great Ejector was ejected. Think about that for a minute, or ten.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

And, yes, you can absolutely trust NESN.com’s Jeff Howe on this one. He knows a guy.

Bravo, Boston. I am indubitably impressed. Bravo.

The lamb is breaking the seals, or something like that.

I don’t know remember the exact passage, but certainly somewhere in the Book of Revelation does John note that, just before the rivers turned to blood or whatever, an auction was started in his fantasy league for Jeff Francoeur.

Well, thanks to Mike Axisa, that very same thing has just happened in my FanGraphs’ ottoneu league.

Thanks for nothing, Axisa. Hope you like your plagues in tens.

The best headlines, of course, incorporate simple rhyme schemes …

If you’re interested in some educated speculation on this guy who is oddly delighted to be squatting in trash, then please stop by The Fightins. And before you say something unfortunate like, “YEAH, PHILLIES FANS IS GARBAGE, LOL, NEENER NEENER, FTW, TLDR!!!!1!1!!ONE1!,” please know that we pride ourselves on being above and occasionally beneath such banalities.

Run afoul of this simple request and risk Puritan’s discipline at the hands of the NotGraphs Sergeant-at-Arms …

With the increasing popularity of MLB.TV, MLB Extra Innings, and Stealing Games Off the Internet, it’s the case now that something close to a critical mass of baseballing fans have access, on any given night, to the full slate of games being played in the majors. This sort of access allows the enthusiast not only to follow specific teams or players in a way that was previously impossible, but also to participate in out-of-market broadcasts unlike before.

Accordingly, it’s become possible to see the different broadcasting choices that networks and clubs make. One of the more conspicuous of these choices is the placement of the center-field camera. While basically all 30 center-field cameras in use today allow viewers to follow the basic narrative of the game (i.e. the identity of the pitcher/batter, the umpire’s call, etc.), it’s also the case that some center-field cameras provide the viewer with a more intimate experience than others.

If we allow that the goal of the center-field camera shot is to capture the batter-pitcher encounter — and, in particular, to document as accurately as possible what a pitcher’s throwing and to where — then it follows that we might adjudge the league’s 30 center-field cameras using that as our criteria.

In what follows, I’ve endeavored to do just that. Below, you’ll find images for all 30 of the league’s center-field cameras, broken down into three categories: Bottom Five, Top Ten, and The Rest.

The reader will note that, with the exception of Minnesota’s contribution, straight-on shots constitute the most highly ranked of the center-field cameras. This makes sense, of course: straight-on shots portray lefties and righties in the same way and document pitch movement in a way that off-set cameras can’t.

The reader should also note that, of all the rankings I’ve given here, the most difficult was Minnesota’s. It has the advantage of being straight-on from center, but is also bizarrely high, making it difficult to gauge the depth of pitches.

Finally, if you believe I’ve erred in any of the screen captures here, don’t hesitate to make note of same in the comment section.

Bottom Five
30. Pittsburgh Pirates

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No. It’s not alcohol. A Cubs fan’s greatest ally is a shoulder on which to cry. Few better shoulders exist than Tim Souers’s, the artist behind the site Cubby-Blue.com.

The life of a Cubs fan meanders along a path of self-loathing and repeated punishment. For those of us who choose this way of life, it sure is nice to lighten the mood occasionally with some fancy art and bone-jostling funny-tales.

Taste the bitter wine of the Cubs life, and grow wiser on its drought of suffering.