Pablo Sandoval Has Something to Say
Science has proved that inanimate objects, despite not having auditory systems or cognitive faculties, can hear, absorb and contemplate human expressions of anger. The gentleman rises for his morning ablutions, crunches his toes on the leg of his paramour’s museum-quality antique dressing table, calls the museum-quality dressing table a “!@#$%&$#@!%&” and promises to “!@#$%&* kill you if that ever !@#$%*& happens the !@#$ again, !@#$-face.”
As you will soon see, however, Pablo Sandoval, the only hitter in the entire Bay Area, has discovered that one may also extract favors, graces and happy accidents from inanimate objects by directing a few kind words toward them …
The secret to better results at the office, in the gym and in the bedroom? Desires whispered to things made of the dead and the never alive.
Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.
I think this is problematic.
As bats, gloves, balls, cups, and hats are imbued with more and more human qualities, what happens when tragedy strikes? If Sandoval breaks that bat after it yielded a home run – does it get carted off the field? Does it have to be buried beneath home plate? This is a slippery slope my friends with no bottom.
Reminds me of Major League