Ozzie Guillen, Important Theologian

Were one to construct a sort of pantheon of modern religious thinkers, it would, of course, be difficult to neglect such personages as Hans Urs von Balthasar, Karl Rahner, and — if you’re the sort of person who considers “Protestantism” a thing — Paul Tillich.

Another name you’d be loathe to forget is the one belonging to White Sox field manager and mouthy Latin gentleman Ozzie Guillen, who yesterday blew the entire world’s mind via his comments (rendered lovingly into tweet form by the Sun-Times‘ Chris De Luca) regarding a sort of cryptic hybrid polytheism as yet unconceived in extant scholarship.

Specifically, Guillen speaks of (a) a personal god belonging to White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf and (b) what Guillen calls the “real” god. Though Guillen clearly differentiates between the two, he fails — or, perhaps, coyly neglects — to note whether any other gods exist in this compelling and rich half-mythology.

It’s for his simultaneous brilliance and stubborn opacity that Guillen has frequently been referred to as “Derrida in a ballcap” and, other times, as “an effing a-hole.”